FUNNY (?) TWITTER RECAP OF THE 34th ROUND OF ENGLISH PREMIERLEAGUE

Finally it's over. This was a really long round. This is just a short recap, what happened in it. Manchester City humiliated Norwich City due to a hattrick, scored by - some say - a complete arsehole. Steve Kean had prepared his team very well for the Swansea match, Manchester United was helped to an easy win by a young diver, Liverpool were embarrassed at the Anfield despite having an iron man in its defensive line, Peter Crouch put himself in the history books by scoring a milestone goal. In the wrong net, that is.

The last two matches were played tonight. There was a derby between Chelsea and Newcastle UTD for staying in the battle for the 4th spot. And guess who was the man of the match! No, not Fernando Torres. It was Papiss Demba Cisse, scoring both goals! So Chelsea are practically out of the Champions League spots. Arsenal, NUFC and Spurs (they beat Bolton) will battle for the 3rd and 4th in the last two rounds.

Now it's time to explain (again), what this blog is all about. As I wrote the last few times: You won't find any detailed experts' analysis here. You won't find complete scoresheets either. But you'll find a good banter, juicy comments about the game, the clubs, the players, the refs, the goals... Maybe you'll find some useful info/opinion for a football chat in your favourite bar...

Namely, football is a global sport, so is the English Premierleague. It is followed by a huge number of a-round-ball-loving enthusiasts, journos, players and managers themselves... I hear football is also more and more popular in the US of soccer... :)

And for all those reasons it's widely commented on Twitter. It is a very well known "fact" that tweeps possess a lot of football knowledge, common sense, cynicism, humour, love/hate relationships... And, yes, even different kinds of stupidity occur...

So, all the ingredients for the tasty soup of football opinion are there.

This is the "34th edition". Here are some of the bits, which should shed some (different) light on the 32nd and 34th round of EPL. I thank all the tweeps for contributing...


NORWICH CITY - MANCHESTER CITY 1-6 (0-2)
@Share_The_Match
Tevez hat-trick - where would City be now if he hadn't been a complete arsehole for two thirds of the season? Probably out of sight #mcfc
@RnRFootball
#Tevez celebrates hattrick by demonstrating his new golf swing picked up in Argentina these past few months. Clearly doesn't have a PR man
@MirrorFootball
Tevez uses his head (for once)


SUNDERLAND - WOLVERHAMPTON 0-0
@sorourkeITV
Ebanks-Blake being shaped like Beyonce is currently the highlight of #SAFC 0 #wolves 0. But like the weather, surely it's got to warm up.
@dodssssss
that game was a wet lettuce, a damp squid, really really poor #safc


SWANSEA CITY - BLACKBURN 3-0 (2-0)
@RobertDWoods
Well done Steve Kean that trip to watch QPR v Swansea was a good idea, you clearly exploited their weaknesses #bbcfootball


WEST BROMWICH ALBION - QUEENS PARK RANGERS 1-0 (1-0)
@WBAFCofficial
A sublime 30-yard strike by Dorrans . It's got to be a goal of the season contender! #wba
@matthewlhunter
The difference between Dorrans vs. a poor team and Dorrans vs. a good team is massive. Still a great player to have in the squad #wba


MANCHESTER UTD - ASTON VILLA 4-0 (2-0)
@TheHaikuKing
Ashley "SCUBA" Young/Dives to win a penalty/At Old Trafford. Cheat. #mufc
@InfostradaLive
Rooney has now scored multiple goals in 28 PL matches. Only Shearer (record 57), Henry, Fowler and Cole have done this more often. #mufc


ARSENAL - WIGAN 1-2 (1-2)
@MirrorFootball Oman! Al Habsi makes a worldy save to deny Benayoun.

LIVERPOOL - FULHAM 0-1 (0-1)
@9_Hendo Taking off Jordan Henderson for Stewart Downing is like choosing between having a right, or left leg amputated #lfc #ffc @BeyondthePitch Love these high-def closeups on players .. you can actually see the bolts in Skrtel's neck ..... be very afraid Clint, you've awakened him @soccerpaedia Liverpool should get a new stadium and change their motto to "hold up Ancestors, we will walk alone from here"

STOKE CITY - EVERTON 1-1 (0-1)
@MWBarnshaw Let's put our hands together and celebrate the 1000th Premiership goal this season..... Peter Crouch, with an own goal!!!! #superstar

CHELSEA - NEWCASTLE UTD 0-2 (0-1)
@DaveClark_AFP Aggressive start from Sarkozy #France2012 and from Cissé #NUFC 1 Chelsea 0 @SamWallaceIndy Another hat-trick for Messi. Meanwhile at Stamford Bridge, the team he can't score against are losing to NUFC & looking flat @KnottJoe Looks like I could be doing a drunk eBay buy of Cisse in 15 years as I did do the other week for Asprilla #NUFC @dce8 For some reason, Sports Direct charge £17 for XL in the home #nufc top, £34 all other sizes. Big Mike sympathising with the pie eaters?

BOLTON - TOTTENHAM 1-4 (0-1)
@allantweston Wheater gives s#it a bad name #bwfc #thfc @jeromeharris Adebayor! Adebayor! He slots in a second and now we have four! #ozspurs #COYS #thfc @devon_gooner turned tv off. seeing adebayor smile makes me sad.