FUNNY (?) TWITTER RECAP OF THE 36th ROUND OF ENGLISH PREMIERLEAGUE

If you're tired of Manchester City and Manchester United, let's put it this way. Tonight there was a duel between Scarface and Shrek. The brave men were not battling for Falklands, for which they could - regarding one is from Argentina, the other from England. No, it was a much more important battle. A battle for a premier lady.

Before the duel that lady fancied Shrek a bit more, she almost gave her special prize to him in advance. But Scarface fought really well. He outplayed his rival and warmed that lady's heart, gained some of her love. But not enough (yet). The not so young and confused in the head Argentinian, compared with a low-hanging fruit, will have to fight another battle for the ultimate reward. This time against the Toon Army. In Newcastle. If he and his blue men win that, she'll submit to him completely.

And now for something completely different. Well, sort of. There were quite a few memorable moments in the other encounters on English battlefields, too. Starting with a hat-trick of the Liverpool's Uruguayan, who's been loved as a beer after work and on the other hand hated as a hangover the next day. The same goes to the ex-Liverpool's Spaniard. Not just the beer stuff, he also scored three goals. For Chelsea. Seriously. Yes, I do talk about Fernando Torres.

Both of them helped their clubs to easy and somewhat expected wins. But what was not expected, was the humiliating of Newcastle. By the mighty Wigan. But it must be said that one of the main Bible characters, Moses, who likes to be called Victor, has come to help them. Everton on the other hand were helped by the Croatian goal-machine. Nikica Jelavic scored a brace to sink sunburnt, hungover and suspiciously itched Fulham.

In the other 36th round matches, Peter Coruch tries (unsuccessfully) to replicate Tower of Pisa, Frazier Campbell's bothered by the sunny weather, Pep Guardiola doesn't scare Terry Connor, Spurs like bars even more than Andy Carroll, and more.

Now it's time to explain (again), what this blog is all about. As I wrote the last few times: You won't find any detailed experts' analysis here. You won't find complete scoresheets either. But you'll find a good banter, juicy comments about the game, the clubs, the players, the refs, the goals... Maybe you'll find some useful info/opinion for a football chat in your favourite bar...

Namely, football is a global sport, so is the English Premierleague. It is followed by a huge number of a-round-ball-loving enthusiasts, journos, players and managers themselves... I hear football is also more and more popular in the US of soccer... :)

And for all those reasons it's widely commented on Twitter. It is a very well known "fact" that tweeps possess a lot of football knowledge, common sense, cynicism, humour, love/hate relationships... And, yes, even different kinds of stupidity occur...

So, all the ingredients for the tasty soup of football opinion are there.

This is the "36th edition". Here are some of the bits, which should shed some (different) light on the 36th round of EPL. I thank all the tweeps for contributing...

EVERTON - FULHAM 4-0 (3-0) @blueside1878 Dempsey should put a blue shirt on at half-time. Just to see how easily he'll fit in next year #efc @hijackp When the ball's in the air and all you see is hair, that's Fellaini! #efc @paddypower Fulham couldn't look more like they're on their holidays if they had sunburn, a hangover and a suspicious itch around the genitals #efc @andybell88 This is like watching Barcelona - but a good Barcelona! #efc #coyb @everton

STOKE CITY - ARSENAL 1-1 (1-1) @piersmorgan Re the 'that wasn't a free header for Crouch' debate - it's ALWAYS a free header if you're Crouch. Unless Kristof van Hout is in goal. @Bosscielny Crouch keeps trying to replicate the Leaning Tower of Pisa but he just keeps toppling over.

SUNDERLAND - BOLTON 2-2 (1-1) @FraizerCampbell I'm not injured tweeps. Just got cramp in both calfs! Not used to all this sun in Sunderland #hawaythelads @Arsenes_Eyes I would love to see @TheBig_Sam get the chance he deserves at Barcelona. A front three of Messi, Iniesta & Kevin Davies? Unstoppable.

SWANSEA - WOLVERHAMPTON 4-4 (4-2) @OptaJoe 22 - Andrea Orlandi's goal for Swansea came after just 22s, the quickest goal of the season. Flying. @paddypower BREAKING: #WWFC Terry Connor says he is "relaxed" after Guardiola is linked to Wolves....

WEST BROMWICH ALBION - ASTON VILLA 0-0 @MulumbusMate Ben Foster isn't good enough. I'm sorry but we should've never sold Carson http://twitpic.com/9et4jx @THOMASAGREEN Ben Foster has to come out of international retirement. Unreal goalkeeper, Albions player of the season by a mile.

WIGAN - NEWCASTLE UTD 4-0 (4-0) @alrickbrown BREAKING NEWS!! Guardiola set to become Wigan manager: "I heard about this guy named Moses who parted the Orange Sea and had to manage him." @dazzgedd73 If Wigan played like this week in & week out, they would be fighting a Champions League spot and not to avoid Championship place!!

NORWICH CITY - LIVERPOOL 0-3 (0-2) @teamdave Good Grief. Suarez has scored a goal. *jaw drop* - excellent. Hopefully some big clubs are watching and will bid for him in the summer. #lfc @sgrodahl Pun of the season: Definitely the day when the man from Montevideo, will want the video. #espn #lfc

CHELSEA - QUEENS PARK RANGERS 6-1 (4-0) @MrJamesMcMath Where was the making? Terry could have been up to anything at that back post. QPR defenders just lucky none of their wives were nearby #cfc @duncanjenkinsFC torres rounds the goalie and finishes with a plum. he is not a wolf in cheap clothing anymore, he is wearing "G star raw". #cfc #Q.P.R @darrenrusse11 Paddy Kenny's got that look about him, of a mole who's just come up to the surface and had bright light in his eyes. #QPR #CFC @Sapphire_LFC He'll knee you in the back, he'll stab you in the back, he plays in centre-back and he'll hate you if you're black. #CFC #Chelsea

TOTTENHAM - BLACKBURN 2-0 (1-0) @hotfunkybiscuit Unflattering camera angle on Paul Robinson looking a bit chunky from behind #brfc #thfc #babygotback @fingolfin82 Gareth bale you are not nor ever will be Cristiano Ronaldo so stay on the left! #thfc @da1seggy Has Sandro been watching Any Given Sunday? He's doing his Willie Beaman throw up on the pitch impression #thfc @corneliusGORTON Blackburns lack of possession is making the Brazilian sick #BRFC #THFC @MirrorFootball @Tweetistuta Bar-count now goes up to 3 today for us. I swear we hit the bar more times than Andy Carroll. #thfcž @DJohnsy_1988 Kyle walker...... Roberto carlos' brother!! #thfc

MANCHESTER CITY - MANCHESTER UTD 1-0 (1-0) @forevruntd SAF takes charge of 995th league game for United & Mancini with his 95th PL game as City manager. Gap. #mufc @jonny_power SAF going for a 'euro away' formation, which worked really well this season #MUFC @jklette43 Park Ji Sung is the human tuxedo. Fergie only uses that guy for special occasions. #MUFC @weirdo67 love Gary Neville on Sky 'Tevez was a low-hanging fruit for 5 months and no-one picked him up' #mufc #thisistheone @brizinorth "The wind is going to play havoc with that" says the commentator as Rooney skies it. Referring of course to Wayne's hair #mufc #mcfc @gram_robinson29 would rather eva mendez was breaking up with me than been 1-0 down here. 45 minutes left, still all to play for #MUFC @almole Giggs hasn't look this pissed off since the last time he opened Tweetdeck #mcfc.#mufc @reubenmunroe Youngs just arrived at the ground straight from manchester leisure centre. Had a couple of hours practising off the 10 m boards. #mcfc #mufc