HITER ORIS LIGE MLS - MALO V BESEDAH, MALO V ŠTEVILKAH

Konec tedna se je začela nova, 23. sezona ameriške nogometne lige MLS (Major League Soccer). Če sta lani slovensko zanimanje za ligo vsaj malce pospešila Antonio Delamea Mlinar (New England revolution) in Andraž Struna (New York City FC), bo letos barve Slovenije zastopal le Delamea Mlinar.

Temu uvod v sezono ni posebej uspel, saj je zasluženo pordečel že v 24. minuti (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-y9kybb79zI). Za nameček je domača Philadelphia Union slavila z 2:0.

Pred sezono so v ZDA za favorite napovedovali branilca naslova Toronto, podprvaka Seattle Sounders in tudi lanskega prišleka Atlanto United ter oba newyorška kluba. New England so postavili na 21. mesto med 23 ekipami. A to ne pove še ničesar, saj je že prvi krog prinesel precej presenečenj.

Denimo, izgubila sta tako Toronto (proti Columbusu z 0.2) in Atlanta proti Houstonu z 0:4, povrh vsega pa je novinec Los Angeles FC v gosteh premagal Seattle Sounders z 1:0.

Kakor koli - MLS v Sloveniji verjetno ne bo našel prav veliko oboževalcev, meni pa povsem zadovoljivo zapolni primanjkljaj ob odsotnosti lige NFL ob nedeljskh večerih/nočeh. Nogomet resda ni na takšni ravni kot v boljših evropskih ligah, a se tudi to spreminja.

Ob tem pa je na drugih področjih MLS pred številnimi bolj uveljavljenimi ligami, kar bodo v grobem pokazale tudi nekatere spodaj navedene številke iz lige MLS.


Rast povpečne vrednosti ekip v MLS:
2008: 37 mio USD
2013: 103 mio USD
2015: 157 mio USD
2016: 185 mio USD
2017: 223 mio USD

Najvrednejši klubi v MLS v letu 2017:
LA Galaxy            315 mio USD
Seattle Sounders 295
Toronto                 280
NYCFC                275
...
New England       225
...
Columbus Crew  130 mio (najmanj).

Leta 2017 je salary cap znašal 3,845 milijona po ekipi. Največjo povprečno plačo so imeli pri Torontu (777.660 USD), sledita NYCFC (603.600) in LA Galaxy (485.630). New England je imel povprečno plačo 288.320 USD, najmanjšo pa lanska novinka Minnesota FC s 191.780.

Po podatkih globalsportssalaries.com je bila MLS s povprečno plačo 313.438 USD na 13. mestu med vsemi (ne le nogometnimi, tam je nekje na šestem ali sedmem mestu) ligami sveta.

Največje letne plače nogometšev v MLS v letu 2017:
Kaka (Orlando)                                                   7,17 mio USD*
Sebastian Giovinco (Toronto)                              7,12
Michael Bradley (Toronto)                                    6,50
Andrea Pirlo (NYCFC)                                         5,92*
David Villa (NYCFC)                                            5,61
...
Antonio Delamea Mlinar (NE Revolution)        400.008 USD
Andraž Struna (slabe pol sezone pri NYCFC)     75.600 USD

* - ni več aktiven

V zadnjih letih vsi klubi prodajajo sponzorski prostor na dresih. Pri tem ima najboljšo pogodbo Los Angeles Galaxy, ki od Herbalifa dobi 4,4 mio USD letno. Sledijo kanadske ekipe s po 4 mio USD na leto.


Galaxy prednjači tudi pri delitvi sredstev televizijskih pravic (5,5 mio USD letno) in pri prodaji imena stadiona (10 + mio USD letno).

MLS sicer dobi 90 mio USD od broadcasting partnerjev, 27 mio na leto več kot v prejšnji pogodbi.

Velik dotok denarja si je MLS zagotovila tudi s podpisom oziroma podaljšanjem pogodbe z Adidasom. Šestletno podaljšanje bo ligi prineslo 700 mio USD oziroma približno 117 mio USD na leto.

Po prihodkih je bil leta 2016 najboljši LA Galaxy s 63 mio USD, sledita Seattle s 53 in Toronto s 46.  New England je imel 27 milijonov prihodkov.

Pa še nekaj drugih številk:
<sup>- največ golov v ligi: Landon Donovan 145; od aktivnih najbližje tretji Chris Wondolowski (san Jose Earthquakes, 134);
- največ podaj: Landon Donovan: 136; od aktivnih deseti Sascha Kljestan (Orlando City, 84);
- največ tekem:; Nick Rimando (452), Kyle Beckerman 432 (oba Real Salt Lake);
- največ naslovov: LA Galaxy 5, DC United 4. 
- najdražji prestop: Ezequiel Barco (pred to sezono iz CA Independiente v Atlanta United za 15 mio USD);</sup>

Povprečen obisk tekem v ameriških ligah 2016/17:
NFL 67.405
MLB 30.023
MLS 21.692
NBA 17.884
NHL 17.500

Povprečen obisk drugih večjih nogometnih lig po svetu (2016/17):
nemška liga    41.510
angleška liga   35.280
mehiška liga    27.830
španska liga     27.630
italijanska liga  22.160
MLS                 21.660
francoska liga  21.030

^{V ligi MLS sicer tekmuje 23 klubov. Vsak lahko ima na seznamu prvega moštva 28 igralcev. Najverjetneje v sezoni 2020 se bosta ligi pridružila še Miami Davida Beckhama in Nashville. Ligo si želijo razšitiri na 28 ekip. Začela je leta 1996 z desetimi. Za pridružitev ligi mora franšiza po novem plačati 150 milijonov USD, še pred petimi letimi je morala odšteti 40 milijonov USD.}

* Viri: Wikipedia, statista.com, Forbes, globalsportssalaries.com, youtube.com. 

RAZMIŠLJANJE PO FUTSALSKEM EURU 2018 V LJUBLJANI

 Kolega iz Ekipe me je med tekmo za 3. mesto prosil za mojo idealno peterko #FutsalEURO. "Higuita, Taynan, Douglas Junior, Eder Lima, Ricardinho (še MVP)," sem mu napisal. In kot je potem razkril, je podobno (ne povsem enako) razmišljal.

Več razlogov, zakaj trije Kazahstanci (Brazilci). Dejstvo pa je, da bi si - kot je dejal tudi ruski selektor -, tudi Kazahstan in Rusija (za nekatere tudi Rusilija) zaslužila biti v finalu. Tu spomnim na neke sodniške zadeve v polfinalu.

A Portugalci z ljubljencem občinstva Ricardinhom, Pedrom Caryjem, junakom finala Brunom Coelhom, na videz nerodnim Andrejem Coelhom in drugimi so - kakorkoli že - zasluženo na vrhu. Tudi zaradi skupine njihovih navijaško-pevsko navdahnjenih navijačev ...

Turnir pa je - po mojem skromnem mnenju - uspel. Povprečno cca. 5000 gledalcev na tekmo (pač, uradno). Tudi če je bilo realno manj, je to kar zanimiva/velika zadeva. Futsal zna privlačiti (žogo pač imamo radi vsi, kakršno koli že, še posebej, če se jo obdeluje z nogo).

Precej tekem je pokazalo, da je futsal zelo gledljiv in razburljiv šport. Tudi mali in veliki finale sta bila obračuna, ki sta v mnogočem pokazala futsalske čare. Obstaja pozitiven vtis po prvenstvu.

Ne gre pa pričakovati futsalskega "booma" v Sloveniji, kot mi je že pred EP povedal eden glavnih na ljubljanskem turnirju. Nenazadnje so temu potrjujoči primeri uspehi naših odbojkarjev, košarkarjev in odbojkarjev. Instant navdušenje je, česa več pa ne. (Ali?). Tudi zaradi zvez. (Ali?).Tudi zaradi navijaške kulture.(Ali?).

V glavnem - ni bilo težko praktično vsak dan se iz Stožic vračati po polnoči. Kot smo pa s kolegi ugotovili, je naše delo nekajkrat trpelo.

Namreč, varnostniki v medijskem centru so imeli toliko občutka za novinarsko delo, kot ga ima Jakov Fak na sprožilnem prstu pri -30 Celzijevih.

 Pa srečno našim zimskim športnikom na jugu Koreje.

DON'T BE A C**T a.k.a JUVENTUS'S UNSUCCESSFUL START OF THE SEASON

My beloved Old lady has done some botoxin', face-lifting, vagina-rejuvenation, if you want, during the summer.

Yeah, it'll take her some time to look as impeccable as last year.

There might be a bit less 'madameness' due to Pirlo's departure, there might even be a bit less drive due to Vidal's leaving. And even a bit less penetration due to Tevez's unhealable homesickness.

But new studs, such as Paulo Dybala, Simone Zaza, Alex Sandro, Mario Mandžukić, Sami Khedira, have been brought to fill the holes of the black and white outfit. And Juan Cuadrado's coming, too.

Now I will end with sexually-oriented terminology and try to be a bit more serious. So. Let's get to the point. Juventus. Football.

Regarding all the summer additions there was quite a lot of optimism before the 1st game of the season in which Juventus welcomed quite generous customers from the past. Udinese.

And it looked like Kingsley Coman, who was the driving force early in the game, but awfully wasteful, and Co. would empty visitors' pockets as soon as they entered the shop.

Allegri's 3-5-2 (Buffon; Barzagli, Bonucci, Chiellini; Lichtsteiner, Pereyra, Padion, Pogba, Evra; Mandzukic, Coman) started brightly, completely dominating Serie A rivals.

It even seemed like the little zebras weren't interested. Juve were all over the visitors' half. On the other side, Stefano Colantuono's men entered Juve's half as often as you've seen Halley's comet.

As is often the case in such situations, 'but' inevitably enters. Despite total dominance in the 2nd half also, Juve just couldn't - even after otherwise very lively Dybala came in - put the ball in the net.

Udinese, on the other hand, did. Through Cyril Thereau, who just might have been involved in the Japanese invisibility researches. Or could someone explain to me, how is it possible to leave someone so alone in the box...

Anyway. The 'expected' outcome was still on. Mauricio Isla entered, Fernando Llorente entered. Game changers (sarcasm on).

No. Juve - despite 65-35 possession, 21-6 goal attempts, 10-2 corners - lost its first home Serie A match since January 2013 and ended an unbeaten run of 47 games (via @WhoScored).

That pissed off quite a large part of the black and white Twitter community. Yes, it's a defeat that wasn't expected. Yes, Mandžukić has a lot of room for improvement. Yes, Coman was wasteful. And, yes, Pogba made too many bad decisions going forward.

But all was not bad. And no, Juve won't be relegated, as some 'men of knowledge' tried to suggest. Bear in mind - Claudio Marchisio, one of the most important Allegri's men in the last season, has been injured, as has Alvaro Morata.

Khedira also - but he's made of glass, so Juve fans can't really coun't on him...

Ergo. It's only the 1st round of the season. So take a chill pill and don't be a cunt, as would Jim Jefferies say. Calma.

PREMIER ANAGRAMS - FOOTBALLERS' DIRTY SECRETS

They say the best artists, writers, poets have been a bit weird. Sick, if you want. I can completely understand that. I'm sick at the moment (some would say all the time, but we don't care about them, do we...), filling myself with all kinds of fruit, tea, drugs (not those drugs). Obviously my body's experiencing a bit of a shock. Used to drinking beer, my brain strangely suggested I should go behind the computer and write dumb stuff!

As we can't fight the organ, which should make us look smarter in other people's eyes (but that is not always the case, is it?), it was time to think about stupid things. As I was torturing my brain alphabetically, it wasn't long before I  got the idea. Anagrams.

Oh, what a cool thing to do with a sick body and mind! As I'm a huge football fan, I chose to do some footballers playing in the Premier League.  As you can see below, I chose two players of each team (well, if there was an obvious one, I put in the third also).

I added some punctuation marks to, well, emphasize the effect. Honestly, it didn't always work. But there are still couple of anagrams that should put a smile on your face! Or was it just me with my sick mind? Whatever.

You can see a stunning Florent Malouda's DNA, Seamus Coleman is dirty - as is Dimitar Berbatov, Stewart Downing has a weird hobby, Ryan Shawcross is a huge (too huge?) fan of Rory McIlroy.  Danny Welbeck knows a Washington secret, Simeon Jackson is rather appalled by Jose Mourinho's sex life.

 Leon Britton has a betting advice for LaDainian Tomlinson, Clint Dempsey shows no respect for Bond's M, Peter Odemwingie's winter-transfer experience has left huge consequences, Ronnie Stam gets a halftime instructions, how to stop Marko Marin, and many, many more.

ARSENAL
Abou Diaby - Baby Audio.
Bacary Sagna - Canary ab gas.

ASTON VILLA
Andreas Weimann - Rea was in men-DNA.
Marc Albrighton - Bring Colmar hat.

CHELSEA
Yossi Benayoun - Ben sins, you say...
Florent Malouda - A lot for mule-DNA...

EVERTON
Kevin Mirallas - Nivea kills RAM.
Seamus Coleman - Cum-meal season.

FULHAM
Damien Duff - Dead muffin.
Dimitar Berbatov - A morbid-vibe tart.

LIVERPOOL
Daniel Sturridge - Ill turd greandes.
Stewart Downing - Owning wet darts.

MANCHESTER CITY
David Silva - Vail vids ad.
Gareth Barry - Grab E.T., Harry!

MANCHESTER UNITED
Danny Welbeck - Kenyan blew D.C.
Anders Lindegaard - Dan is radar legend.

NEWCASTLE UNITED
Gabriel Obertan - Boring bee altar.
Shola Ameobi - O, Amish ebola.

NORWICH CITY
Andrew Surman - Damn raw nurse!
Simeon Jackson - Man on Jose - sick!

QPR
Esteban Granero - Tease N.N., Roger!
Fabio - Fobia.
Stephan M'bia - I hate PMS, Bean!

READING
Adam Le Fondre - One rad mad elf.
Ian Harte - Anti-hare!

SOUTHAMPTON
Steven Davis - Ass-event vid.
Rickie Lambert - Tickier Mr. Bale.

STOKE CITY
Wilson Palacios - CIA won a pill. SOS!
Ryan Shawcross - Can Rory show ass?

SUNDERLAND
Wes Brown - Owns brew.
Danny Graham - Ah, mad granny.
Titus Bramble - Berta's bum lit.

SWANSEA
Wayne Routledge - A needy lower gut.
Leon Britton - Bet on noir, L.T.!

TOTTENHAM
Clint Dempsey - Sip decently, M!
Kyle Naughton - Naughty on elk.

WBA
Peter Odemwingie - RT O, I'm peeing weed!
Marc-Antoine Fortune - Matureen' coon fartin'...

WEST HAM
Winston Reid - No twin rides!
Mohamed Diame - Home died, mama...

WIGAN
Franco Di Santo - Foot in narcs ad.
Maynor Figueroa - Oi! Re-fag your man!
Ronnie Stam - Stone Marin!

PRIMERA DIVISION - IT REALLY IS FOOTBALL FOR EVERYONE

If someone accidentally turned on the TV or came across some stream on the internet and the Sunday's game between Tigre and Boca Juniors was on, he/she certainly asked him/herself, what the hell? What are those maniacs talking about? Argentine Primera Division being interesting... Yeah, right.

Indeed, the aforementioned clash between a club by the name of Tigre (nickname Matadores) and a club, which is one of the most recognized football brands in the world, was incredibly... dull, putting it plainly and simply. No action at all.

So why would anyone bother to continue watching Futbol para Todos? If someone accidentally turned on the TV or came across some stream on the internet and the Sunday's game between River Plate and Estudiantes was on, he got the answer.

Well, it was not the best game ever, but it was a very decent match, decided by the David Trezeguet (yes, that one) wonder-volley. The goals in Primera Division are quite often spectacular, so here's one reason to watch it. One of the recent treats: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-m5El5LnT8

But beautiful strikes can be seen in practically any league, you would argue. True. So there have been other reasons, why me and those other "maniacs" sit in front of TV or laptop in ridiculous (European) hours. For starters, the energy in the stadiums is (mainly) incredible. Songs, flags, colourful and passionate fans, banter... E. g. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bzaSGSsWdgg

Not convinced yet? Well, what about one of the fiercest rivalries in world football? Boca - River anyone? Sure, there are no such stars as in Real Madrid and Barcelona, but if I had to choose between those two, the "battle" of Buenos Aires (and Argentina) would get the nod. As the name suggests, it's not just a clasico, like that one in Spain. It's Superclasico. Want a visual? Youtube.

Next. What I love about Primera Division (and other South American leagues) is the fact you can see some really exciting players (some of them are listed below) at work. You have up-and-coming stars, you have established masters of the game, there are some veterans, players with "attitude", "los locos", you name it... And last but not least. Primera Division is anything but predictable.

In the last five seasons the Champions' list is certainly not what you would describe as, ehm, dull. Velez Sarsfield, Arsenal de Sarandi, Boca, Estudiantes, Argentinos Juniors, Banfield, River Plate have all been on top of Apertura (now called Torneo Inicial) or Clausura (now Torneo Final).

Yep, Argentina and its football league deserve to be (even more) recognized. Namely, that Great Britain's best friend hasn't exported just quality beef, but quality football and footballers, too. And this trend will continue. Surely.

So, which players are worth watching right now? Juan Manuel Martinez, Santiago Silva, Leandro Paredes,  Lucas Viatri, Nicolas Blandi, Juan Roman Riquelme (all Boca), David Trezeguet, Manuel Lanizini, Juan Iturbe, Rogelio Funes Mori, Ariel Rojas, Leonel Vangioni, Leandro Gonzalez Pirez, Rodrigo Mora (all River), Fernando Gago, Facundo Ferreyra (Velez), Denis Stracqualursi, Franco Jara (San Lorenzo), Bruno Zuculini, Jose Sand, Luciano Vietto, Mario Bolatti, Mauro Camoranesi (Racing), Gabriel Heinze, Maxi Rodriguez, Ignacio Scocco (Newell's Old Boys), Mario Regueiro, Silvio Romero (Lanus) and many, many others.

Currently, the clubs are at the beginning of Torneo Final 2013. After the 2nd round it's Lanus topping the table, along with River. Tigre, Boca and Godoy Cruz (led by one of the most charismatic faces in Argentine football - Martin Palermo) are just behind them.

But if you want to know more about this league, just visit a lovely site, dedicated to it. http://hastaelgolsiempre.com/

MLS - 'FILLE DE JOIE' LOOKING FOR REAL LOVE

Eighteen years ago the USA hosted FIFA World Cup. As a part of the US' bid to land the most important sporting event in the world they came up with something they called Major League Soccer. Being 15 at the time, along with the fact that internet here was as rare as honesty in politics, I didn't really know what to think about it. They can't be serious across the pond, I thought in 1994.

Football - as I prefer to call the beautiful game - in the land of the free was not exactly Julia Roberts in Pretty woman. Everybody loved her (despite doing the world's oldest job), (almost) nobody loved football despite being No. 1 practically everywhere else. "Richard Gere" rather spent his time with other ladies, like the NBA, MLB, NFL, NHL even. And he still does it today.

Regarding reputation of the MLS, little has improved since the first season in 1996, despite the "boom" after successful USA team at the World Cup 2002. It still gets a lot of stick from "traditional" football countries, and die-hard-Americana-influenced sports fans in the US.

But it's getting better. Gradually.

The doubters might be right in some aspects. But wrong in some, too. There are quite a few good points for following the MLS. I'm not saying I'm in love with it, I'm watching it here and there, but I respect what they're doing.

Living in a global village means that even the MLS finds the way to the most remote corners of our planet. TV and media coverage are improving, live matches can be seen wherever you want. And, frankly, it is quite a pretty sight.

There are many leagues across the world that have really poor infrastructure. This is not the case in the US. Stadiums are (mostly) quite good, and what's more important they're nicely filled. The average attendance in 2011 was 17,872, what is just a bit lower than in the Dutch Eredivisie or French Ligue 1 and about the same as the NBA and NHL.

It has to be said that technical and tactical quality of the football in the MLS cannot be compared to the Premier League, La Liga, Serie A, Bundesliga, but it's improving. Some of the American talents that play there, like Brek Shea, Juan Agudelo etc., could soon make themselves interesting for some European clubs. Like Tim Ream that joined Bolton couple of months ago.

Another aspect is money. Players in the MLS earn from 33,750 USD to 4,600,000 USD per year. And, frankly, those amounts of money (that can be upgraded with sponsorship money) have attracted quite a few famous footballers. Let's put aside the fact that they've come there mostly to earn a buck or two before ending their respectable careers.

For example, there are Arne Friedrich (Chicago Fire), Hamdi Salihi (DC United), "golden balls" David Beckham, Robbie Keane (both LA Galaxy), Marco Di Vaio, Matteo Ferrari, Alessandro Nesta, Bernardo Corradi (all Montreal Impact), Rafa Marquez, Teemu Tainio, Thierry Henry, Tim Cahill (all NYRB), Kris Boyd, Steven Smith (both Portland Timbers), Danny Koevermans, Torsten Frings (both Toronto) and Kenny Miller (Vancouver).

When New York Cosmos joins the MLS, I'm pretty sure there will be more of the "big-calibre" footballers there. It is rumoured that even Kaka wants to play in NYC.

Conclusion? There's too much going on in the MLS to completely ignore it. Of course, it's not the first choice but it's surely good enough to occasionally quench football thirst.

P. S. In the current season, the best teams in the MLS by points are San Jose Earthquakes, Real Salt Lake, New York Red Bulls, Sporting Kansas City, Houston Dynamo... On the top of the scoring chart there is Chris Wondolowski (San Jose) with 17 goals followed by Kenny Cooper (NYRB/13) and Alvaro Saborio (RSL/11), while the kings of assists are Dwayne De Rosario (DCU/10), David Beckham (LA/9) and Marvin Chavez (SJ/9).

FUNNY (?) TWITTER RECAP OF THE 38th ROUND OF ENGLISH PREMIERLEAGUE

Here we are. The last blog of the season. A bit late - as was City's championship goal. A really dramatic finish of a dramatic season. Let's put City's win aside for a bit. Because there was a lot of drama going on in other aspects of the game, too. In fact, it was quite tense on the pitch of Ettihad Stadium. Even Begbie would fit in the mess - caused by (surprise, surprise) Joey "The Kung Fu...d up" Barton - nicely.

But even that little rascal couldn't stop "biches" (blue + riches) from conquering the league. Sir Alex probably already ordered a double 18-year-old in the 90th minute, but he poured it down his throat only to drown his sorrows. He just couldn't stand the fact his pal Mark Hughes betrayed him. And let the City to take the necessary points in dying moments of the season. Well, anyway, congrats to Manchester City. And its tactician Mancini, who was prepared to do anything for the win. Even to send Nigel De Jong to the Stadium of Light to sort things out with Wayne Rooney and his (useless) goal.

In the other last round matches, it's revealed that Defoe, Adebayor, Livermore (and I would add half of the Arsenal's squad) share the same barber as Raul Meireles, Everton players handcuff Steven Pienaar, Liverpool are unlucky even in the last game of the season, Jermaine Defoe does a whale (so they say... I'm not a biologist), Marton Fulop equals butter, the match between Wigan and Wolves satisfies some of the Only fools and horses cast, and more.

At this point I would like to thank all the tweeps for contributing factual, funny, ironic, satyric, clever, biased, and even stupid, tweets. Some of them were simply brilliant! Also, thank you, my beloved readers! Any ideas for the next season?


CHELSEA - BLACKBURN 2-1 (2-0)
@MLS_Analyst Remember 8 years ago when there were suddenly all those Chelsea fans? I wonder if they're wearing a lighter shade of blue today. @OptaParody 2.99 - It looks like Defoe, Adebayor and Livermore have been going to the same £2.99 a time barber as Raul Meireles. Shocking @bridgeviews Arguably the finest moment today: 'He cuts his own hair, he cuts his own haiiir, Raul Meireles, he cuts his own hair' #cfc #Chelsea


EVERTON - NEWCASTLE UTD 3-1 (2-0)
@davidsimpson88 Howard: "They [players] have handcuffed him [Pienaar] to the showers. He's not going back down to London." #EFC @MirrorFootball GOAL! Everton 3-1 Newcastle - Tony Hibbert takes pity on the Toon and scores for them


MANCHESTER CITY - QUEENS PARK RANGERS 3-2 (1-0)
@paul_tomkins While Barton will be hated by United fans if City now win, at least he tried to take out the entire City XI in a Kung-fu masterclass @sickipediabot Inspired by Man City's success, I'm going to make sure my kids win Sports Day by buying loads of fast, strong kids from other countries. @FootballFunnys What's the definition of irony? Man City winning the league in Fergie time. @Footy_Jokes Its just been announced that Joey Barton is an unlockable character on Mortal Kombat. @Martin_Carr Joey Barton is a pacifist, a pacihead, paciknee and a pacielbow. #motd @OptaParody 1 - Micah Richards is apparently the 1 player from Manchester City that Joey Barton didn't fancy a dust up with. Lad @royhendo The Joey Barton moment was basically the bit in Trainspotting when Begbie tosses the pint glass off the balcony.


NORWICH CITY - ASTON VILLA 2-0 (2-0)
@OptaJoe 15 - Grant Holt PL goals this season, the joint-most by a player for a newly-promoted side since Andy Johnson for Palace in 04/05 (21). Leap


STOKE CITY - BOLTON 2-2 (1-2)
@JacquiOatley Muted celebrations from Jonathan Walters after his goals for Stoke v Bolton...helped to relegate his former club. #BWFC #scfc


SUNDERLAND - MANCHESTER UTD 0-1 (0-1)
@MirrorFootball Mancini sends out De Jong to warm up. Going to send him up to Sunderland for 2nd half to kick Wayne Rooney in the chest @StupidFootball Are you a Man United fan devastated by City's title win? Cheer up. Things could be a lot worse... You could be living in Manchester. @tonguetweets Fergie in his book: "Mark Hughes is a warrior with whom you would trust your life" And your title? #MUFC #QPR @StupidFootball Rooney's overhead-kick against Man City was voted the greatest Premiership goal ever. Yesterday's against Sunderland was the most useless.


SWANSEA - LIVERPOOL 1-0 (0-0)
@SurrealFootball Liverpool: the first team ever to be unlucky for all 38 games in a season. @FunnyGooner Liverpool 2009: £41 million spent, 63 points Liverpool 2010: £47 million spent, 58 points Liverpool 2011-12: £92 million spent, 52 points


TOTTENHAM - FULHAM 2-0 (1-0)
@OptaJoe 20 - Jermain Defoe is the first player to score 20 goals as a substitute in Premier League history. Tracksuit. @ItsEvaSamuel Ryan giggs did miss wales, jermaine defoe did miss whale


WEST BROMWICH ALBION - ARSENAL 2-3 (2-2)
@andygoldstein05 Just seen the Arsenal goals...I'm guessing Fulop isn't a spurs fan. @BBCSport Fulop's first English club was Tottenham - signed in summer of 2004 but never played a competitive game for them @OptaJoke 3 - Marton Fulop needed 3 more errors to be signed by Arsene Wenger this summer. Butter.


WIGAN - WOLVERHAMPTON 3-2 (2-1)
@MirrorFootball GOAL! Wigan 2-1 Wolves: Boyce - Marlene will be happy @sickipediabot Wigan fans are delighted after todays win. With their 11th of the season, the team can now dedicate one to each of their fans. @OptaJoe 1 - Matt Jarvis' goal at Wigan means Wolves have their first goal in the opening 15 mins this season, the last PL team to do so. Patient.