FUNNY (?) TWITTER RECAP OF THE 35th ROUND OF ENGLISH PREMIERLEAGUE

The opening match of the 35th round was a London derby. Everybody expected a cracker - but got a snore-fest. Ok, the footballers of a club, which got its name by putting -nal to a, well, backside, hit the post/bar twice, but otherwise it was as boring as baseball. Or cricket, if you want. No wonder then that a season-high number of fans at the Emirates were... quiet. However, it is possible they had missed Didi Drogba, who was left out due to olympic campaign. Some say, he really likes jumping in the pools of water. In acrobatic fashion.

Much more exciting was at the St. James' Park, as the NUFC's stadium will be (again and rightly so) called on "no-sponsors-names-allowed" Tuesdays and Wednesdays in the next season. The Magpies got another three points and are serious contenders for one of the Champions League spots. Yes, Papiss Demba Cisse scored again.

As did Wazza (literally in the theater, it was as quiet as the Emirates!). He's now in the top 4 of United's all time scoring list. And just a goal behind Robin van Persie in the battle of EPL "capocannoniere". Who has an abstinence crisis of some sort. He was told to go back to what he was smoking before... Anyway, despite the goals by the hair-plugs, the Red Devils didn't win versus the blues from Liverpool. In addition, the blues from Manchester beat the Wolves from Falklands. This means that the Manchester derby next Monday will probably decide this year's champion.

In other 35th round matches, waving middle fingers is obviously a common way to greet Alex McLeish, a Canadian rescues Blackburn from the crapper, Philippe Senderos scored (no, really!), Liverpool - WBA game is like a delayed ejaculation, and more. Must see: why would Tottenham's big-eared star Gareth Bale fit in Barca's squad perfectly? A hint: it has nothing to do with the testis as there is a shortage of them in the lilywhites' shorts.

Now it's time to explain (again), what this blog is all about. As I wrote the last few times: You won't find any detailed experts' analysis here. You won't find complete scoresheets either. But you'll find a good banter, juicy comments about the game, the clubs, the players, the refs, the goals... Maybe you'll find some useful info/opinion for a football chat in your favourite bar...

Namely, football is a global sport, so is the English Premierleague. It is followed by a huge number of a-round-ball-loving enthusiasts, journos, players and managers themselves... I hear football is also more and more popular in the US of soccer... :)

And for all those reasons it's widely commented on Twitter. It is a very well known "fact" that tweeps possess a lot of football knowledge, common sense, cynicism, humour, love/hate relationships... And, yes, even different kinds of stupidity occur...

So, all the ingredients for the tasty soup of football opinion are there.

This is the "35th edition". Here are some of the bits, which should shed some (different) light on the 35th round of EPL. I thank all the tweeps for contributing...

ARSENAL - CHELSEA 0-0
@YouAreMyArsenal Didier Drogba has been rulled out of the Emirates clash v #Arsenal. He has Olympic diving trials with Bale & Young.
@MountainWAG
Malouda has a haircut that screams, "I passed out at a Sublime show & woke up like this." Even #afc players are astounded. #hairfail @TheGinge87 'Always a threat John Terry'. Yeah he is when your wife is around. #cfc #afc @bluechampion Mike Dean is a kind referee. He listens to Arsenal players before he makes his decisions. #afc #cfc @JeParleGeordais Emirates, world's most expensive library #afc #cfc #noatmosphere @BobbyDigital45 Gervinho: wtf are u about? Do u actually know how to play football? And why did u fool Wenger with that brazilian name when u from IC! #AFC

ASTON VILLA - SUNDERLAND 0-0
@danwalkerbbc Villa have had 350 corners in the PL since last scoring from 1! (James Collins, Nov 2010 v Blackpool) #DullButFascinating #stat #AVFC @molotov_bomb Heskey on :( You literally might as well bring on a cat. #avfc @EdFitter McLeish went over to fans, 2 men learned over to him and waved their middle fingers in anger at him, he looked destroyed. Ouch.. #avfc

BLACKBURN - NORWICH CITY 2-0 (1-0)
@MirrorFootball GOAL! Blackburn 2-0 Norwich - Hoilett pulls Rovers out the toilett? @joshboswellbrfc Mauro Formica is a recession Kaka.

BOLTON - SWANSEA 1-1 (1-1)
@MirrorFootball GOAL! Bolton 1-1 Swansea - Eagles gets home side flying again

FULHAM - WIGAN 2-1 (0-0)/
@FulhamFC So Martin Jol makes two changes from the Chelsea match, Kelly and Frei are replaced by Senderos and the returning Pogrebnyak #FFC @DaviDiggz Pogrebnyak proving to be a good bargain for Fulhan FC with his ongoing love affair for the opposing sides netting. @richardosman Phillipe Senderos has scored? You're kidding? My auto-correct will only accept 'Phillipe Senderos hasn't scored'. #COYW

NEWCASTLE UTD - STOKE CITY 3-0 (2-0)
@OptaJoe 11 - Papiss Demba Cisse has equalled Mick Quinn's Premier League record of most goals in his first 10 games (11). Unstoppable. @atoonlad Incentive for #NUFC to reach the CL, UEFA don't allow sponsored stadiums so all home games will be at St. James' Park” @jozxyqk76 Having a Guinness in honour of the amazing black & whites #nufc

QUEENS PARK RANGERS - TOTTENHAM 1-0 (1-0)
@paddypower And #THFC's Gareth Bale is quite a player- but imagine what he'll be like when he evolves... @FRfootballLiam #Taarabt scores a free kick. "Put that in your pipe and smoke it Harry!" You can almost hear him say. #QPR 1-0 #THFC @Mo_Diame21 Bale looks like a #Barca player.............not capable of scoring in West London #QPR #thfc @mktuam #Spurs need Testicular Fortitude...anyone know who he plays for? #COYS #THFC

MANCHESTER UTD - EVERTON 4-4 (1-1)
@georgiebingham Er - is Rooney attempting a Roy Keane/James from Geordie Shore Combover? Noooooooo. We get it! The hair transplant worked! #MUFC Ashwin Venkat ‏ @avenkat10 @PGrealey Pienaar has changed the message on his vest to JELAVIC IS GREAT!! @SamWallaceIndy MU all-time goalscorers: Charlton 758 apps/249 gls; Law 404/237; Rowley 424/211; Rooney 362/180. Rooney's goal to game ratio is very good @eugineprince Now Rooney is just a goal behind RVP. The Dutchman shud go back to what he was smoking @NileshP7 The only positive was Rooney & Welbeck doing a nice impression of Yorke and Cole. Unfortunately our back 4 did an impression of Wolves, ffs.

LIVERPOOL - WEST BROMWICH ALBION 0-1 (0-0)
@chrislepkowski Odemwingie goal is Albion's first at Anfield since November 1985. That's also the last time #wba scored in open play vs LFC @liverpooldeep LFC remind me a bit of when you're playing 2 player on FIFA and the other person leaves the room, you unpause, and you still can't score. @kitster29LFC This game is the football equivalent to delayed ejaculation. Everytime we hit the vinegar strokes, we start thinking about tax returns. #LFC

WOLVERHAMPTON - MANCHESTER CITY 0-2 (0-1)
@spider76efc Just learnt that etihad translates into English as unity, so you could say in a way that man city play at the united stadium @UnitedsRedArmy And the commentator said "those supporting Man City have pessimism in their DNA" no mate it's called wankerism #UNITED @joshuaax1234 Love how wolves are relegated and can hear them singing and man city are nearly winning the league and can hear a thing. Wish I was there. @FourFourTom Wolves fans to Tevez and Aguero: "The Falklands are ours, the Falklands are ours, f*ck off you Argies, the Falklands are ours!" - genius.

FUNNY (?) TWITTER RECAP OF THE 27th ROUND OF ENGLISH PREMIERLEAGUE

I know there were some great games on Saturday. But this time Sunday's matches got a bit more space here. Firstly, I should mention Fulham's masterstroke - bringing to London Pavel Pogrebnyak. "Pogreb" in my language (and it's quite similar in russian) means "funeral". You make the conclusions. Wolves' fans should come up with them really quick... Otherwise - hat-trick could be a real eye-opener!

Secondly, there was a big Newcastle - Sunderland derby today! It had it all. A lot of yellows, reds, fouls, suspicious refereeing, goals, penalties, missed penalties, and even some in-breeding insults. It ended with a draw, despite the fact Sunderland came in town with Pele in the squad and Demba Ba played with a pigeon-crap on his head.

Thirdly, Tottenham - Manchester United. Battle of the top. The Red Devils started very shyly. Spurs on the other hand wasted too many chances. They were punished just before the break by the "hair-plugs". To put some more salt on already big Tottenham's wounds, Ashley Young rose from the dead. And scored a brace. Maybe it was just too persuade 'Arry to take England job.

In other 27th round matches Liverpool fans enjoy the Elvis Costello show, Aston Villa bores everyone to death, Darren Pratley is a new term for being, well, "shite", a squirrel steals a show from QPR and Everton, one of the tweeps explains, what is really wrong with Chelsea (yes, the players' surnames can be fatal), and more.

Now it's time to explain (again), what this blog is all about. As I wrote the last few times: You won't find any detailed experts' analysis here. You won't find complete scoresheets either. But you'll find a good banter, juicy comments about the game, the clubs, the players, the refs, the goals... Maybe you'll find some useful info/opinion for a football chat in your favourite bar...

Namely, football is a global sport, so is the English Premierleague. It is followed by a huge number of a-round-ball-loving enthusiasts, journos, players and managers themselves... I hear football is also more and more popular in the US of soccer... :)

And for all those reasons it's widely commented on Twitter. It is a very well known "fact" that tweeps possess a lot of football knowledge, common sense, cynicism, humour, love/hate relationships... And, yes, even different kinds of stupidity occur...

So, all the ingredients for the tasty soup of football opinion are there.

This is the "27th edition". Here are some of the bits, which should shed some (different) light on the 27th round of EPL. I thank all the tweeps for contributing...

LIVERPOOL - ARSENAL 1-2 (1-1)
@_pauljones_
if lfc get beat today I'm going to the library in town and shouting a verse from Shakespeare in the librarians face
@Sule456
Downing's right foot shares many similarities with my ferrari, the main one being I don't have one #lfc #afc
@paul_brandon
Couldn't we combine a "kick racism out" and "kick cheating out" campaigns into simply a "Kick Suarez out" one? #lfc #cheat
@Aaron_Sharp_
Charlie Adam really does look like Elvis Costello. Elvis Costello now, that is.. not when they were the same age. #LFC #AFC
@Bethany_LFC
Kuyt missed penalty. Kuyt hit the post. Suarez hit the post. Kelly missed open goal. Szczesny world class saves. How did we lose!? #LFC
@MaratRyndin
Carroll didn't even get off the bench until the end. Buying English players is like paying for a Ferrari and getting a Lada! #lfc
@MpumiLembz
"He's skilled, he's Dutch, he scores with his first touch"

BLACKBURN - ASTON VILLA 1-1 (0-1)
@MickVilla82
I think today's team talk was "try remember how houllier asked you to play and do that" #AVFC #VTID #UTV
@adamclarke501
What's this???. Two positive substitutions and neither involves the Mule!?!?. Well, ride me sideways. #AVFC
@ASTVIL123
'We'll bore you to death, we'll bore you to deeaaaatttthhhhh, WE'RE ASTON VILLA, we'll bore you to death.' #avfc What happened at HT Alex?

MANCHESTER CITY - BOLTON 2-0 (1-0)
@InfostradaLive
Mario Balotelli's goal was the 750th to be scored in the #EPL this season #PL #MCFC
@Dre5IVE
#thatawkwardmoment when Balotelli scores and his teammates arent quite sure what to do
@LeoonStancill
Balotelli scored on the 69th minute? Nice number to score on! #BalotelliIsGod
@FourFourTom
FT: Man City 2-0 Bolton. Man City make history by becoming the first Premier League team to win 14/14 of their opening home games.
@TheBoltonWaffle
For a free transfer Darren Pratley does not represent good value for money #bwfc

QUEENS PARK RANGERS - EVERTON 1-1 (1-1)
@DJones_People
A squirrel has been on the pitch at QPR for almost ten minutes. It means he's nearly had as much game time here as Djibril Cisse
@YourEverton
QPR hit the post twice, first through Taraabt and then Buzsaky. Squirrel still on the pitch.

STOKE CITY - NORWICH CITY 1-0 (0-0)
@AngryAnderton
Disappointed by Stoke. 'Fantastic atmos' and 'we're not just a long ball team'? Both incorrect. Shocking game. #scfc #ncfc

WEST BROMWICH ALBION - CHELSEA 1-0 (0-0)
@Stevo_football
So sacking Ancelotti and appointing AVB (£28m) + sacking AVB (£20m) + buying Torres (£50m) = almost £100m. Can they? #chelsea
@FootballFunnys
AVB = Another Vacancy Beckons.
@Kamo_D
What's the Mata with Chelsea? They looked Terryble they keep on Luizing, Cech the score. To be Frank, AVB doesn't have a Kalou!

WIGAN - SWANSEA 0-2 (0-1)
@Rosela
Yes mother playing like Barcelona is exactly what Wigan were trying to do. Just lack the speed, quick thinking and finishing ability.
@ChrisWathan
Harsh. Swans fans sing 'sacked in the morning' to their old idol Martinez. Harsher was some of the Wigan responses. 'I wish' said one gent

NEWCASTLE UTD - SUNDERLAND 1-1 (0-1)
@MissKatieEmma
The sister is the mother, the fatha is the brother, they all shag one another, a mackem family! Howay the lads! #Nufc
@SurrealFootball
Goal! Pele! I mean Bendtner! Newcastle 0-1 Sunderland
@RossWigham
#nufc Chris waddle the wrong man to be lecturing on penalties. He can't even say it properly.
@markbatham
The paint on on Ba's head makes it look like a huge pigeon has shat on him. #nufc #safc
@OptaJoe
7 - No player in Premier League history has scored more goals v Sunderland than Shola Ameobi. Hero.

FULHAM - WOLVERHAMPTON 5-0 (2-0)
@James_Rox
Keano showing his face in the stands at Fulham. Steve... your new job is a couple of miles down the road.
@eaamalyon
Fulham the baldest team in the league? Seeing AJ, Hangeland, Murphy etc celebrating is like a potato convention.
@Simon_Breeze
I would be surprised by Pogrebnyak's start to Fulham, but he scored 8 goals for me on FIFA in one match, so i knew he was good ;)
@AbhinavCJ
Whoa, Paul Pogrebnyak gets his hat-trick as Fulham go 4-0 up. 5 goals in 3 league games so far. I hope Fernando Torres is watching.

TOTTENHAM - MANCHESTER UTD 1-3 (0-1)
@InnaMUFC_Vettel
Today is Sir Alex's game №986 in the league.He surpasses Sir Matt Busby's record. #mufc
@rhiachohan
Spurs' stupid f***ing camera angle is making me feel more hungover than I need to. #mufc #thfc
@RyanERodgers
Michael Carrick is underrated. If he was Spanish, three inches shorter, and had an A at the end of his name he would be praised. #MUFC
@CRonaldoNews
Rooney scores a header for Man United. That hair transplant really has paid for itself hasn't it? #crnews #MUFC
@RossBuchan
Ashley young man of the match? Did nothing first half. It's like old FIFA games, whoever scores the most gets man of the match
@WoolnoughBrian
The way Spurs are defending over last two games, Harry Redknapp should grab that England contract quickly. #THFC
@JamesOlley
#Redknapp on the top four: "Its going to be tight but I'd rather be where we are than Arsenal. I want to finish third." #thfc
@rayz_mufc
BREAKING NEWS : False earthquake alert in London Cause: #Spurs fans took a heavy hit on their way back down to Earth!! #THFC #MUFC

FUNNY (?) TWITTER RECAP OF THE 26th ROUND OF ENGLISH PREMIERLEAGUE

English Premierleague might not be the best in the world regarding football quality. But it is by far the most entertaining! All the sceptics should've watched London derby between Arsenal and Tottenham.

My God, it was all pleasure. For the visitors only in the first 34 minutes I should add. Yes, it had looked like 'Arry would add more misery to the Gunners. But the next English manager blew it up in the 2nd half. With using questionable tactics he kicked himself in the teeth. Hard.

You must've done something wrong if Theo Walcott, who is hated even by the Arse supporters, scored. Twice, for that matter. Even the Bruce "almighty" Willis couldn't save the Spurs. Yes, this time it was all too powerful Yossi Benayoun who used the famous line: "Yipikayey, Martha Focker!"

Now I should mention the Merseyside derby, which was postponed to today - March 13th. Not a good day for David Moyes and his 10th anniversary as Everton's manager. But a really good one for Stevie G - played his 400th PL match in LFC shirt and scored a hat-trick. No wonder some Kop-like fans would tuck him in. With their wives in the same bed, that is.

In other 26th round matches Frank Lampard's milestones go unnoticed (or maybe just the volume button on my telly is broken - no sound whatsoever), Kevin Doyle finds a post-football career, QPR are obviously thinking about joining the NFL (or why would you need 40+ players?), Mario Balotelli reveals a new t-shirt (something about selling your virginity or... well, google it), two dinosaurs, one found in Wales, one in Salford, kill the canaries in their cage, and more.

Now it's time to explain (again), what this blog is all about. As I wrote the last few times: You won't find any detailed experts' analysis here. You won't find complete scoresheets either. But you'll find a good banter, juicy comments about the game, the clubs, the players, the refs, the goals... Maybe you'll find some useful info/opinion for a football chat in your favourite bar...

Namely, football is a global sport, so is the English Premierleague. It is followed by a huge number of a-round-ball-loving enthusiasts, journos, players and managers themselves... I hear football is also more and more popular in the US of soccer... :)

And for all those reasons it's widely commented on Twitter. It is a very well known "fact" that tweeps possess a lot of football knowledge, common sense, cynicism, humour, love/hate relationships... And, yes, even different kinds of stupidity occur...

So, all the ingredients for the tasty soup of football opinion are there.

This is the "26th edition". Here are some of the bits, which should shed some (different) light on the 26th round of EPL. I thank all the tweeps for contributing...

LIVERPOOL - EVERTON 3-0 (1-0)
@andybell88
I know Liverpool are a joke, but having Adam Sandler at left back is taking it a bit far. #efc #lfc
@dwagie
Hendo is shaite. I kinda miss Poulsen.. wait, what? #theredmen #LFC
@thesnowdens
Andy Carroll is 6-1 to score today.... If you don't understand betting that means that if you bet £10, you will lose £10. #LFC
@LFCtransfernews
Steven Gerrard set to become 25th player to reach 400 PL appearance milestone and only the fifth to achieve it for one single club. #LFC
@AntHaddley
Said it before but if I came home and found Steven Gerrard in bed with my wife, I would tuck him in. #LFC
@liam_tomkins
Somebody said to me that Steven Gerrard was a shadow of his former self these days. I wish my shadow was that good!

CHELSEA - BOLTON 3-0 (0-0)
@chrismada9
I think I might have to turn the volume up because I can't hear the #Chelsea support *turns up volume* ... okay I still can't hear it! #CFC
@Frimponged
Didier Drogba has scored 99 Premier League goals. Fernando Torres will reach that same amount in the year 2401, at this rate. #cfc
@flyingdutchfan
150th league goal and his 149th Premier League goal. Frank Lampard, legend. #cfc
@BarriesView
9 - with that goal Frank Lampard becomes the first player in Premier League history to score double figures in nine consecutive seasons #CFC
@MiggLovin
When the commentator yells, "TORRES!" he either A. shanked the ball, or B. got an assist. #CFC

NEWCASTLE UTD - WOLVERHAMPTON 2-2 (2-0)
@InfostradaLive
Papiss Cissé was 5th player to score in his first 2 home #PL matches for #NUFC after Shearer, L. Ferdinand, D. Ferguson & Daniel Cordone
@danwalkerbbc
Last time Wolves won away at Newcastle in the top flight was 7th Feb 1959. The day Mick McCarthy was born! #WWFC #NUFC #Stat
@jaredstimson
Kevin Doyle looks like he should be in a rock band, not a striker in the Prem. @

QUEENS PARK RANGERS - FULHAM 0-1 (0-1)
@InfostradaLive
Pavel Pogrebnyak is the 2nd #fulham player in #EPL history to score in each of his first 2 matches for the club after David Healy #PL
@RobertOrdever
There is more #ffc love on my timeline tonight than a whole series on the isle of Fernando #fulhamfamily
@iainmacintosh
Samba Diakite was the 42nd player to be named in a QPR matchday squad this season. They'll need an extension at the training ground soon.

WEST BROMWICH ALBION - SUNDERLAND 4-0 (2-0)
@WDownes
wearing my west brom shirt to core p.e on monday, purely because Mr Pigford supports Sunderland
@Martin_O_Neill
Having a drink in the corner flag in Sunderland. Sess & Frazier have just turned up dressed like Rizzle Kicks. #PartyWithMarty

WIGAN - ASTON VILLA 0-0
@FourFourTom
FT: Wigan 0-0 Aston Villa. Today's glamour tie certainly didn't disappoint. Passes, throw ins and two clean sheets. #TheThrillaVsVilla
@AFraser
Having Alex McLeish as your manager is great. Completely frees up that time you might otherwise spend watching Match of the Day. #avfc

MANCHESTER CITY - BLACKBURN ROVERS 3-0 (1-0)
@FOXSoccerTrax
I'm going to resist the urge to make jokes about Balotelli's t-shirt, but I do urge you to Google "Raffaella Fico." She's a piece of work!
@TomSeymour
Great strikers goal by Dzeko today. Cross from the chalk and the big man leaping like a gazelle. Few better sights in football for my money
@CharleyRoseB
"It's a match ball for Sergio Aguero, but he knows who to thank, the mercurial genius of the man they call the wizard" <3 ARSENAL - TOTTENHAM 5-2 (2-2)
@Okwonga
Brad Friedel is officially the Bruce Willis of football. Bald badass who never disappoints. Bet he can sing too. #thfc #afc
@nosakhari
My Girlfriend #AFC is cheating on me again with my enemy #THFC and she is making me watch her do it.
@NathanITFC
If you get out muscled by Yossi Benayoun you really need to be hitting the gym! #arsenal #thfc
@munsy_uk
Turned TV over now watching Colombo on ITV, much better. #THFC
@GunnersStunners
BREAKING NEWS!! The new #Spurs DVD has been cut short to only 34 mins & is titled as '2-0, A memorable afternoon at the Emirates' #afc #thfc

NORWICH CITY - MANCHESTER UTD 1-2 (0-1)
@SteveRLawrence
Premier League clubs must feel pissed getting beaten with two 36 Year old players #legends #mufc
@rebeccaabbott93
Few things after #ncfc game today 1) There's a reason stoppage time's called Fergie time 2) Where would #mufc be without Scholes and Giggs..
@henrywinter
Giggs, playing 900th #mufc game, is the lord of the landmark: Scored United's 6000th league goal (v Saints 93) & 7000th (v Birmingham 06)
@jaymotty
If u divide Ryan Giggs number of appearances 4 United by 900 then subtract 1 u get the exact number of Steven Gerrard league title medals

STOKE CITY - SWANSEA 2-0 (2-0)
@Pagella1990
Peter Crouch should still be playing for Liverpool and Andy Carrol should be working for #ASDA #LFC
@FOXSoccerTrax
70: Hey something happened at Stok-- oh, wait, it was just a trash bag blowing across the pitch. Carry on. Stoke 2, Swans 0.
‏841001
"@Stats_official: Stoke 2-0 Swansea: Passes 194-614|Pass% 66-85|Possession 26%-74%" Proof passes are not everything in football.

FUNNY (?) TWITTER RECAP OF THE 20th ROUND OF ENGLISH PREMIERLEAGUE

Nope, it wasn't a good start of the new year for the Arse's fans. Although the Wengaboys played versus Fulham. In fact, later in that game it showed that Dempsey, Zamora, Ruiz are more "likeable" - even to the AFC's supporters - than Walcott, Arshavin, Djourou - not to mention Squillaci. Ooooh, he's so good! For the rivals, that is...

Tuesday was the day of a real derby. The Richie Riches hosted King Kenny and his lot. But his majesty was soon disappointed, especially with a man who should guard the most important part of the battlefield. This time, nickname "Pepe" did suite The Spaniard perfectly. But on the other side, the home supporters were satisfied, especially after they were rewarded - for abusing the Scousers - with Cigarettes&Alcohol (some say they consumed it through the ears... weirdos!).

Wednesday was full of crap for Manchester UTD. Wazza was shitty, Berba was shitty, midfielders were - yes, you guessed - shitty, defenders were - how should I put it - ah, shitty. Lindegaard was beaten three times, but not guilty at all. Magpies deservedly won. Ba, Cabaye, Tiote - brilliant! In fact so brilliant that even Howard Webb couldn't stop them.

In the other 20th round matches Swansea played in the library, Joey Barton likes Sister Act 2, Chelsea's defence is, well, good for making jokes, William Gallas was allegedly injured by Luis Suarez (in the same game Sisqo scored the winning goal), Martin O'Neill is Superman (despite constantly exposing himself to Kryptonite in form of Bendtner), very unlikely scorers at Goodison Park and more.

Now it's time to explain (again), what this blog is all about. As I wrote the last few times: You won't find any detailed experts' analysis here. You won't find complete scoresheets either. But you'll find a good banter, juicy comments about the game, the clubs, the players, the refs, the goals... Maybe you'll find some useful info/opinion for a football chat in your favourite bar...

Namely, football is a global sport, so is the English Premierleague. It is followed by a huge number of a-round-ball-loving enthusiasts, journos, players and managers themselves... I hear football is also more and more popular in the US of soccer... :)

And for all those reasons it's widely commented on Twitter. It is a very well known "fact" that tweeps possess a lot of football knowledge, common sense, cynicism, humour, love/hate relationships... And, yes, even different kinds of stupidity occur...

So, all the ingredients for the tasty soup of football opinion are there.

This is the "20th edition". Here are some of the bits, which should shed some (different) light on the 20th round of EPL. I thank all the tweeps for contributing...

ASTON VILA - SWANSEA 0-2 (0-1)
bradarmstrong_
we had 14 corners, couldnt score from any of them. what do we practice in training? cos it certainly isnt defending either #mcleishout #avfc
adamclarke501
So our European adventure once again comes to a disappointing end. #AVFC
MatKendrick
"This is a library" chant the Swans fans, in response to the slightly subdued atmosphere at VP since the goal
OptaJoe
1 - Wayne Routledge has scored his first ever Premier League goal, in what is his 116th appearance in the competition. Patience.

BLACKBURN - STOKE CITY 1-2 (0-2)
BrisRover
The culture of any business is set by those at the very top Sadly theres more culture in a Munch Bunch yoghurt than Venkys #brfc #venkysout
peteoconn
Probably best that Crouch didn't get his hat trick from that flowing passing move. Rugby teams don't score like that. #scfc #swinglow

QUEENS PARK RANGERS - NORWICH CITY 1-2 (1-1)
OptaJoke
15 - Number of tweets Joey Barton will send from the QPR dressing room during the rest of the game following his red card. Bitter.
StePortercomedy
Very cunning of Joey Barton to get himself sent off just as Sister Act 2 is starting on BBC1. hasn't the man got access to Iplayer?

WOLVERHAMPTON - CHELSEA 1-2 (0-0)
zed_nuthouse
You know what is funny? Our defence. Bwahahahahahahahaha. #CFC
7amkickoff
Has anyone told John Terry that he's in the Black Country? #CFC #Wolves
reefa_k
The only way that Chelsea celebration could have been more staged is if it was kissing Lisa Marie Presley at the VMAs. #cfc
GoonerTom13
Why are Chelsea taking him off; what's the Mata with him? #cfc
gavglicksman
Dear Chelsea, please remember how to build on a 1-0 lead. Here's a handy tip - score a bloody second before you concede #cfc

FULHAM - ARSENAL 2-1 (0-1)
mattpottinger
Theo Walcott's relationship with the final ball is a lot like mine with the G-spot #afc
mattycrouch
*MISSING* Brian Ruiz right foot. If found please contact Martin.Jol@fulham.com Reward offered. #onefootwonder #FFC #AFC #FULHAM
GoonerGossip
If Arsenal deducted £1 from Walcotts wages every time he hit an opposing player when shooting or crossing his wage would be £7 a week. #AFC
minkahunter
Per Mertesacker: White Men Can't Jump. #AFC
MiaAntoniades
Absolute disgrace!Let's see if Henry can turn this around, actually bring back Bergkamp,Pires,Petite,Viera,Keown,Ljunberg and Seaman!! #afc

TOTTENHAM - WEST BROMWICH ALBION 1-0 (0-0)
bobbobbee
I'm not drunk and I have no firearms pointed at my head BUT I really think #THFC could win the Premier League this year @TherealNihal #COYS
georgiebingham
Lord! In an attempt to get Harry's attention for a starting spot Jermain Defoe has bleached his hair Abel Xavier style #thfc
jac2689
No idea why Assou-Ekoto has different coloured boots on both feet. Colourblind or disastrous fashion sense. Possibly both. #THFC
malare42
VdV has runned more than any player in Spurs's 1st half. What's next? Downing to score at Etihad?! #thfc #lfc #mcfc
WayRilkins
William Gallas injured. Luis Suarez the prime suspect. My word. #thfc #lfc
mrcobberto
Didn't realise we had signed Sisqo as a new striker. Still, decent finish #COYS #THFC

WIGAN - SUNDERLAND 1-4 (0-1)
JakSmith_18
Posh Spice is a slapper, a slapper she was born and when she's shagging Beckham, she thinks of Davie Vaughan!!!! #SAFC
simonwinster
Wish Martin O'Neill would do one! Only good thing about him is his uncanny resemblance to Jims Dad #americanpie #safc
Sayer85
what a difference a top class manager makes! Under Bruce 11 points 14 games, under O'neil 13 points from 6 games! unbelievable! #safc
betonsportstips
Sunderland & Martin O'Neill starting to look like marriage made in heaven. 10th place despite Bendtner! O´Neill a true man manager #safc

MANCHESTER CITY - LIVERPOOL 3-0 (2-0)
SportsAbuse
Contrary to what you heard, Suarez IS available for the #mancity game. But he had his Aryan Brotherhood meeting tonight #Liverpool
MaattMills
Gerrard is just a cheap James Milner #happybirthdayMILNER #mancity
jamesgregg7
Watching Mancity vs Liverpl. So far I've seen 22 over-paid prima dona's throwing themselves in the floor, making praying gestures at the ref
Painter01
How can anyone not like Roberto Mancini? A great character that the Premier League needs. He's nearly as cool as Mick McCarthy! #mancity
SportsAbuse
Say what you like about #mancity, at least when they drop crazy money for a player it's not Andy Carroll

EVERTON - BOLTON 1-2 (0-0)
TEAMtalk
HOWARD GOAL (63): Howard's 75-yard punt up field catches wind and bounces over helpless Bogdan. Amazing scenes! #EFC 1 #BWFC 0.
kingkenny_7
Tim Howard is now just 2 goals behind Fernando Torres in the races for this season's Golden Boot. #lfc #efc #cfc
MatthewJRudd
Unlikely, even extraordinary scorer of a goal at Goodison Park tonight - David Ngog. #bwfc #efc
Sniffer_Prandy
Tim howard was 150\1 to score the 1st goal tonight - ngog was 250\1 to score at anytime! #efc #bwfc
EdFitter
Transfer Rumour: Liverpool to sign 'Wind' and T.Howard to replace Downing and Suarez respectively. #LFC #AVFC #EFC

NEWCASTLE UTD - MANCHESTER UTD 3-0 (1-0)
JustinHouareau
Lindegaard looks solid early on, good call by Fergie, that and bringing that Rooney guy back, heard he is handy, just a bad trainer #MUFC
WayRilkins
My word, Rooney has a splendid head of hair. I've been desperate to get a transplant myself but Mrs. Wilkins loves stroking my scalp. #MUFC
AaronDonnelly1
Rooney if that was a bacon sandwich or a prostitute you would of finished that chance! #mufc #nufc
geordiepolyglot
I would transfer Howard Webb into my fantasy team,but I'm already up to my quota of #mufc players #nufc
davidsedgwickNE
Howard Webb earning a contract extension there with #mufc, blatent penalty for a trip on Ba not given.
AlexRenshaw1
Rooney arguing with Howard Webb is the first argument between players on the same team at SJP since Bowyer and Dyer #nufc #mufc
duncanstoddart
Whoever does the medicals at stoke should be handed his p45 for not giving demba ba the green light!! What a finish!! #nufc #MUFC
Scubanova
No hairdryer at HT from Fergie...cos Phil Jones was using it #NUFC v #MUFC
efferal
United look like saying Cabaye-bye to their premier league title #mufc
whitty99
This performance has been as bad as Brosnan's singing in Mama Mia. We don't even look like scoring #mufc