FUNNY (?) TWITTER RECAP OF THE 5th ROUND OF ENGLISH PREMIERLEAGUE

Ooooo, what a scary nickname "gunners" is! Those not following football might think this is a team which scares every opponent! The reality is they do not scare no one, even the white&blue chickens (although they're Venky's).

Before the match Blackburn fans protested and wanted Steve Kean to leave. Even the Arsenal fans sang he should get the sack. But in the end it was Arsene Wenger the one to be "keaned". Many of you have wanted the Frenchman's a(A)rse to be kicked at.

The reasons are obvious. Arsenal (aiming at the champions league places... oh, well) went down at Ewood Park against Blackburn (a club that is in reality closer to championship quality than Kean's outrageous remarks about going towards the top of the table). And, yes, this time even Arsene admitted the start of the season was simply terrible for his flock of "Star-trek-characters-look-a-likes".

Manchester United have completely different kind of start. They are invincible! Even Chelsea couldn't do nothing to change this. Valderrama in Utd shirt scored again (and badly missed a penalty), Nani scored a beauty (only Luka Modric's goal could match it)... On the other hand Goalless Torres put himself on the scoring list BUT missed a sitter later in the game. Maybe, just maybe, he should do something with his hair (great tweet about it!). Oh, yes, and Man City pissed away their lead...

Also in this edition: man-love, organ-transplant, George Orwell, Maradona, the worst team, the end of the world, killing each other and more.

Now it's time to explain (again), what this blog is all about. As I wrote the last four times: You won't find any detailed experts' analysis here. You won't find complete scoresheets either. But you'll find a good banter, juicy comments about the game, the clubs, the players, the refs, the goals... Maybe you'll find some useful info/opinion for a football chat in your favourite bar...

Namely, football is a global sport, so is English Premierleague. It is followed by a huge number of a-round-ball-loving enthusiasts, journos, players and managers themselves... I hear football is also more and more popular in the US of soccer... :)

And for all those reasons it's widely commented on Twitter. It is a very well known "fact" that tweeps possess a lot of football knowledge, common sense, cynicism, humour, love/hate relationships... And, yes, even different kinds of stupidity occur...

So, all the ingredients for the tasty soup of football opinion are there.

This is the "fifth edition". Here are some of the bits, which should shed some (different) light on the 5th round of EPL. I thank all the tweeps for contributing...

BLACKBURN - ARSENAL 4-3 (1-2)
offthepost
"You're getting sacked in the morning" - Are the Arsenal fans still singing to Wenger?!
MirrorFootball
H-T Blackburn 1-2 Arsenal. Random thought: if Venky's did have a managerial vacancy soon, would they FILLET?
astravegaa
Arsenal has Damon from Vampire Diaries in their squad #Arteta
John_Warrington
Is shows just how far backwards Arsenal have gone when @piersmorgan is having premature ejaculations over beating Blackburn. #tosser
Rodney_Dennis
If arsenal end up losing ill cry and put it on youtube
femianthony
Oh yeah!! In comes djourou.... another ugly and wierd looking Arsenal player lol only Jehovah knows where wenger finds these players lol smh
julian_bennetts
Only #arsenal could score 5 and still lose. Another defensive shambles. Have to admire new players learning same mistakes as old so quickly
Alan_Machnik
Arsenal bringing Chamakh on. In response, Chris Samba will wear flip-flops for the remainder of the game.
MissIreenie
...Maybe Arsenal are going for that minimalist look in their trophy cabinet this season

ASTON VILLA - NEWCASTLE UNITED 1-1 (1-0)
harrydecosemo
N'Zogbia was awful, the way it should be #nufc
nancy_spinner
#NUFC: you draw some, and you draw some.
ToonTeg
#nufc 4th #safc 19th hahahahahahaha
andrewishench
Must admit I'm developing a man-crush on Yohan Cabaye, copied his hair and everything #NUFC

BOLTON - NORWICH CITY 1-2 (0-2)
OXONAssassin
Is Klasnic the first player who had an organ transplant to be sent off in premier league history?
Colinho63
#bwfc we've actually been playing with 10 men since first minute when Klasnic didn't turn up.
HopeSoloSwag
How many referees does it take to make the right call? Apparently the answer is more than one #Bolton #Norwich

EVERTON - WIGAN ATHLETIC 3-1 (1-1)
MirrorFootball
GOAL! Everton get a very late third against Wigan - Royston Drenthe with a finish "as cool as the other side of your pillow" - Merse
FunkyBlanco
Drenthe is better than Maradona. :) #tweetlikeafanboy
ayates_89
Wigan are the worst team I've ever seen! They should just stick to rugby league.

SWANSEA CITY - WBA 3-0 (2-0)
EatMoreBacalhau
After five rounds in the PL, who would've predicted Norwich and Swansea do have more points, and a better goal difference, than Arsenal?
ManUtd24
Nobby Solano finds the net for Hartlepool. Yakubu scores two. Even Leroy Lita has a goal to his name. The end of the world is near, folks.
briankettle
#wba 3-0 down. Clearly the fault of the players, owners, fans, reserve team, unreasonable expectations and Rafael Benitez.
davemiles93
I laughed. Cause I didn't want to cry #wba

WOLVERHAMPTON - QPR 0-3 (0-2)
salisu8
heading home, need to cut my hair. congrats QPR
AmiieeLeigh
Absolutely terrible game today! If it was a team like Chelsea who'd made us look that bad then fair enough they're the better team, but QPR?
NapoliBlogger
Barton shouting some George Orwell to the Wolves players there
Marcotti
A minute ago, looked as if Henry + Barton were going to kill each other. Final whistle, smiles and giggles. Love the PL.

TOTTENHAM - LIVERPOOL 4-0 (1-0)
thejamessutton
Match Day. Excited. Carroll starts. Please be sober Andy. For me...
holmsey75
This is brilliant! Can see the refs car having its alloys nicked and set alight.#lfc #thfc
1aurence9owell
So how did your meeting with the chief referee go then king kenny? #lfc #thfc hahahahahahhaahhahahahaha
Dave_Hewitson
Someone really should tell Suarez not to put vaseline on the outside of the soles of his boots . . . #thfc #lfc
marksyx
adebayor, adebayor, city pay half his wages, 'cause we are too poor #thfc
suhail_suzy
Adebayor, Adebayoooor. We used to hate you, we don't anymoore!
MirrorFootball
"Oh Adebayor/Oh Adebayor/His mum washes his kit/And her son's made it four"
JAScammell
'Are you Arsenal in disguise?' #thfc #lfc
jayadevnair9
The Simpsons is on in another channel, but watching Liverpool is funnier. @essafc Brilliant from #thfc.

FULHAM - MANCHESTER CITY 2-2 (0-1)
sidlowe
So, this Aguero bloke... he's quite good, isn't he?
fallingbackward
I am so in love with Fulham right now. Proved that it's about being a team, not an aguero.
Padz86
Fulham draw with City, so the majority of new Chelsea fans will have something to celebrate tonight
sportingintel
BBC website cannot stomach what's happening at Craven Cottage, insisting it's 3-1 to #mcfc, and bizarrely listing five goals, 3 for City
GraceTomlinson1
Glad to know we're still the same old City. No amount of money will change our inexplicable ability to throw away leads. #mcfc #fulham

SUNDERLAND - STOKE CITY 4-0 (3-0)
MackemLindsey
I wonder what the bruce out brigade have to say after that! Saying that with all the empty seats i doubt they were even there! Welldone safc
J3ffCmgs
Bruce, take note. Vaughn played and was man of the match. Cattermole on the bench. Sunderland win. Work that one out....
jonawils
OK; I'm starting to breathe easier now. But Sunderland scoring from set-plays? I didn't even know that was allowed.

MANCHESTER UNITED - CHELSEA 3-1 (3-0)
AndyMitten
Cracking match. Again. Jones enviously eyeing Torres' blond highlights. Just described them as "reet fashionable". To Anderson.
dartfordgooner
Chelsea fans haven't known a hammering like this since they were Fulham fans.
i_am_smg
i just say....if it had been van nistelrooy ...#manutd wud ve probably have 7 today
stephenackroyd
Arsene is on the phone to Torres now: asking if he can teach his back four to miss the goal like that.
ManUnitedTalk
What's the difference between Fernando Torres and Wayne Bridge? John Terry appreciates Wayne Bridge's missus.
churchofsoccer
Torres should talk to Rooney's hair-transplant guy. I know, I know. But he's gotta try *something* different.
Snikoggs
Wenger has announced he wants to buy Torres. When asked why he said, "If I play him at centre back, at least we won't score any own goals"

FUNNY (?) TWITTER RECAP OF THE 2nd ROUND OF ENGLISH PREMIERLEAGUE

This time there are some "thoughts" about candles, beer, spells, despair, cavalry, disrespect, soldier, dad, superman, solar energy, Barbados, spanking, Libya ... and bad haircuts. In this department Arsenal is far superior to any club in the EPL. No doubt about that! Some of their players would easily get a role in a Star Trek episode. Without visiting make-up artists.

But firstly, let me explain what this blog is all about. As I wrote the last time: You won't find any detailed experts' analysis here. You won't find complete scoresheets either. But you'll find a good banter, juicy comments about the game, the clubs, the players, the refs, the goals ... Maybe you'll find some useful info/opinion for a football chat in your favourite bar ...

Namely, football is a global sport, so is English Premierleague. It is followed by a huge number of a-round-ball-loving enthusiasts, journos, players and managers themselves ... I hear football is also more and more popular in the US of soccer ... :)

And for all those reasons it's widely commented on Twitter. It is a very well known "fact" that tweeps possess a lot of football knowledge, common sense, cynicism, humour, love/hate relationships ... And, yes, even different kinds of stupidity occur ...

So, all the ingredients for the tasty soup of football opinion are there.

This is the "second edition". Here are some of the bits, which should shed some (different) light on the 2nd round of EPL. I thank all the tweeps for contributing ...

And, please, again, pardon my English ... I didn't have any lessons during the week ...

SUNDERLAND - NEWCASTLE UTD 0-1 (0-0)

jonawils
It's one win in 30 years for Sunderland at home to Newcastle now.
jimspc
Sunderland is down to 10 man. I told you Joey Barton FC can put a spell to ref to give red cards
lewisainslie
Sunderland are a disappointment. Oh well, time to get drunk.

ARSENAL - LIVERPOOL 0-2 (0-1)

MirrorFootball
Arsenal bring on Ignasi Miquel. Andy Carroll briefly excited as he mishears and thinks he's up against his favourite bottled Spanish lager
MirrorFootball
Great long-range effort from Frimpong. Perhaps that haircut is actually an aiming device?
TonyEvansTimes
One bad haircut off, one on. Still all even at Emirates
marcetuc
There was a young man called Frimpong, who's haircut went very wrong. He tackled too hard, got a red card....(fill in gap)!
piersmorgan
Oh great, here comes the cavalry: Bendtner. Light the candles.
MirrorFootball
Nice of the Arsenal players to take heat off Samir Nasri by ensuring they ALL get disrespected by the fans at the final whistle

ASTON VILLA - BLACKBURN 3-1 (2-0)

LordWilsonVILLA
Aston Villa 3 - 1 Blackburn FT- "We're on top of the world Ma"
rowner86
@Reidy_Update I don't understand. Blackburn lose again but they've got Super Steve Kean in charge. It just doesn't make sense.
homeless_turtle
How does it feel for blackburn, having played twice, being below spurs, who haven't yet played? #BBCFootball

EVERTON - QPR 0-1 (0-1)

chriswvtr
Can we finish the season now please, Liverpool champions, Everton relegated?
jessjcl
Are Everton just programmed to have terrible starts to the season?
abbiesykes_TW
Dad shouting cos everton lost, me: are they out of the league, dad: no its the start of the new season, me: huh?
robinja01
@jbaxter37 Six midfielders and no forwards with 30 mins to go and a goal down at home to QPR? WOW indeed.

SWANSEA - WIGAN 0-0

Spikey_Mikey_23
Still, we're off the mark. 3 points against sunderland please next saturday. Oh, and well done to the wigan fan who made the trip. Soldier!

CHELSEA - WBA 2-1 (0-1)

Johan_88
Do Chelsea have a new manager? It looks like the same system, same players and same mundane viewing. #cfc
Delano_718
See why I Would always support Chelsea FC on Chelsea's electronic billboard, Barbados was being advertised.. during WBA game :)
swilletts
#WBA this week and last, and 2 the fans who are saying "I'm proud of the performance" what's to be proud of? we lost points off our own back
DeanAJMaiden
While #WBA away kit seems to copy Bayern Munich, Bayern's new home kit is an ode to Stoke city!

NORWICH CITY - STOKE CITY 1-1 (1-0)

liverpooldeep
Brilliant. At Norwich match the stadium announcer said "5 minutes remaining" and the entire crowd replied "5??" ala Monty Python style.
Scottywashere
Kenwyne Jones just pissed Canary yellow all over The Canaries... Poor Norwich. #EPL
malvernzodiac
Norwich City 1, Stoke 1 .... eerrrr, can somebody check the accent of the referee?

WOLVERHAMPTON - FULHAM 2-0 (2-0)

MRiemen
Whats with the empty stand behind Schwartzer at Molineux? Bags on seats? Is that the traveling Fulham support?
RealMattyboy
Well bloody fulham let me down, 3 out of 4 correct for second week running. Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing from something.
OptaJoe
1 - Wolves are in first place in the top-flight for the first time since August 28 1973, after which they lost 5 successive games. History.

BOLTON - MANCHESTER CITY 2-3 (1-2)

sidlowe
Bolton fans booing Aguero are probably just making him feel at home. Sounds like the 'Kuuuuuuun' that used to ring round the Calderón.
MirrorFootball
Is this City kit just a ruse to convince Balotelli he already plays for AC Milan?
henrywinter
Do not adjust your sets.. It's true....Aguero has just missed a sitter
abeautifulnoise
Definition of optimism is the Solar Energy Company (#HanwhaSolar) that's advertising pitchside at the Bolton/ManCity game. It's Manchester!!

MANCHESTER UTD - TOTTENHAM 3-0 (0-0)

MirrorFootball
For those watching in HD, Harry Redknapp does NOT have a shredded wheat on his head
StuffMickSays
Enjoying the #mufc v #thfc game - real end-to-end stuff. There are more attacks here than on Gadaffi's compound.
RuKotecha
Giggs doesn't matter you've shagged everyone! We still love you!!! #MUFC :)
ameypv
I'm saying it again.Rooney after that hair transplant has gone all Curious Case of Benjamin Button.He's 18 again :D #MUFC
FachtnaK
Modric has been invisible for Spurs tonight. #mufc #thfc
adamwasere
Now u've had ur Manchester spanking please return to the capital and tell the Arsenal how it feels in prep for the weekend. Cheers. #MUFC