FUNNY (?) TWITTER RECAP OF THE 37th ROUND OF ENGLISH PREMIERLEAGUE

Unless a miracle happens on May 13th at Ettihad stadium, the Citizens will lift the trophy. They did their job as expected at the St. James' Park, although you can blame someone's mom for City's win. Anyway, the Manchester blues have the same number of points as Manchester reds, but far better goal-difference.

That's why and the fact that they play against QPR in the last round it would be utopian to expect a some kind of surprise. Or a gift for the loved ones from the other part of the city. The red ones need, well, snookers. In a way. And could use some help of a recently retired star Stephen Hendry.

On the other hand, Arsenal's fans aren't too happy after this round. Just a point is less than they expected versus Norwich. But they were a bit happier after the NUFC's in THFC's games. Yes, both of them failed to win. So, even in the battle for the 3rd and 4th spot, it could be useful to know some snooker. At least for the Spurs and Gunners.

In the other 37th round matches, Wolves are preparing for a trip to Barnsley, Bolton have been banned from keeping dogs, and more. A match of the round? Blackburn - Wigan. No, seriously. Huge on Twitter. Usually a yak is the animal, when you talk about newly-relegated Blackburn. But not this time. The chicken was THE animal this time.

Now it's time to explain (again), what this blog is all about. As I wrote the last few times: You won't find any detailed experts' analysis here. You won't find complete scoresheets either. But you'll find a good banter, juicy comments about the game, the clubs, the players, the refs, the goals... Maybe you'll find some useful info/opinion for a football chat in your favourite bar...

Namely, football is a global sport, so is the English Premierleague. It is followed by a huge number of a-round-ball-loving enthusiasts, journos, players and managers themselves... I hear football is also more and more popular in the US of soccer... :)

And for all those reasons it's widely commented on Twitter. It is a very well known "fact" that tweeps possess a lot of football knowledge, common sense, cynicism, humour, love/hate relationships... And, yes, even different kinds of stupidity occur...

So, all the ingredients for the tasty soup of football opinion are there.
This is the "37th edition". Here are some of the bits, which should shed some (different) light on the 37th round of EPL. I thank all the tweeps for contributing...


ARSENAL - NORWICH CITY 3-3 (1-2) @UtdWeekly "I don't 1-2 be an Arsenal fan", said the Arsenal fan. #afc @rourkey4 I like Arsenal's new yellow and green home kit, playing so well. #AFC @TH14Vinayak It's not easy being an Arsenal fan... but it's hard not to love this team! . Except towards the end of the seaosn #Afc #Arsenal @ChitownArsenal Hopefully the players had collection plates during the lap of appreciation after that. We'll need the money w/ a 5th place finish #AFC


NEWCASTLE UTD - MANCHESTER CITY 0-2 (0-0) @StevieCJT The Toon Army chant that most iconic of footballing wisdom's "The Referee's a Wanker" #mcfc #nufc @bardiak My mom just woke up and said good morning, then city scored. I asked her to please go back to bed. #nufc #mcfc @paddypower Sooooo close from Aguero...Mrs Power was right...inches make all the difference #mcfc #nufc


ASTON VILLA - TOTTENHAM 1-1 (1-0)
@MardyyBum Danny Rose shown a RED CARD! Well, Roses are red... #thfc @huey07 Well looks like we need snookers. Typical #thfc #sameoldspurs


BOLTON - WEST BROMWICH ALBION 2-2 (1-0)
@ant176 Bolton players have been banned from keeping dogs as they can't hold onto a lead. #bwfc


FULHAM - SUNDERLAND 2-1 (2-1)
@OptaJoe 15 – Clint Dempsey has scored 15 goals in his last 15 appearances in all competitions at Craven Cottage. Enforcer. @PCarrESPN Clint Dempsey is the 1st Fulham player with 50 career Premier League goals.


QUEENS PARK RANGERS - STOKE CITY 1-0 (0-0)
@InfostradaLive #QPR won their 5th home match in a row, their longest winning run at home in the top flight since a 5-match streak from Aug to Oct 1987


WOLVERHAMPTON - EVERTON 0-0
@Everton Wolves fans singing 'que sera sera, whatever will be, will be, we're going to Barnsley'.


MANCHESTER UTD - SWANSEA 2-0 (2-0)
@The_Spend Phil Jones. Like watching a person made of elastic bands and porridge play football. #mufc @NotGusPoyet After persuading Paul Scholes to come out of retirement Sir Alex now try the same with Stephen Hendry for next week as #mufc need snookers


BLACKBURN - WIGAN 0-1 (0-0)
@StupidFootball Without Wayne Rooney's goals this season, Man United would be 1 point ahead of Blackburn. Fact. @tomEurosport Brilliant! Blackburn fans, presumably, release a chicken onto the turf at Ewood Park. @nhsriley That blackburn chicken is the best thing rovers have served up at home all season. Amazing! @PCarrESPN Chicken on the field at Blackburn. Cue up the fowl jokes. <- A new special for Venky's: Taste Of Relegation @NW3Gooner Blackburn fans taking 'feed the Yak and he'll score' too seriously and throwing a chicken onto the pitch. @PeteScuff After chicken released in themed animal protest at Blackburn, I'm concerned about Wolves next match. @KWAMMC This guy Modeste has really lived up to his name playing up top for Blackburn. Not good at all. @tomEurosport There's no escape from that Alcaraz goal for Blackburn.

LIVERPOOL - CHELSEA 4-1 (3-0)
@MikelArteta08 Just a reminder, £20m Stewart Downing has 1 arrest this season but 0 league goals and 0 league assists. #LFC #CFC @mj_afc LFC fans singing to Torres "You should have stayed at a big club." They are right, he shouldn't have left Atletico! @MirrorFootball Uh-oh - Alan Smith has awarded the man of the match bubbly to Andy Carroll. Give him a camera too and they'll have Hangover III in the can @MirrorFootball Carroll tries an ambitious chip... Which is funny, cos at the start of the the season, the only chips he cared about came with burgers etc

FUNNY (?) TWITTER RECAP OF THE 36th ROUND OF ENGLISH PREMIERLEAGUE

If you're tired of Manchester City and Manchester United, let's put it this way. Tonight there was a duel between Scarface and Shrek. The brave men were not battling for Falklands, for which they could - regarding one is from Argentina, the other from England. No, it was a much more important battle. A battle for a premier lady.

Before the duel that lady fancied Shrek a bit more, she almost gave her special prize to him in advance. But Scarface fought really well. He outplayed his rival and warmed that lady's heart, gained some of her love. But not enough (yet). The not so young and confused in the head Argentinian, compared with a low-hanging fruit, will have to fight another battle for the ultimate reward. This time against the Toon Army. In Newcastle. If he and his blue men win that, she'll submit to him completely.

And now for something completely different. Well, sort of. There were quite a few memorable moments in the other encounters on English battlefields, too. Starting with a hat-trick of the Liverpool's Uruguayan, who's been loved as a beer after work and on the other hand hated as a hangover the next day. The same goes to the ex-Liverpool's Spaniard. Not just the beer stuff, he also scored three goals. For Chelsea. Seriously. Yes, I do talk about Fernando Torres.

Both of them helped their clubs to easy and somewhat expected wins. But what was not expected, was the humiliating of Newcastle. By the mighty Wigan. But it must be said that one of the main Bible characters, Moses, who likes to be called Victor, has come to help them. Everton on the other hand were helped by the Croatian goal-machine. Nikica Jelavic scored a brace to sink sunburnt, hungover and suspiciously itched Fulham.

In the other 36th round matches, Peter Coruch tries (unsuccessfully) to replicate Tower of Pisa, Frazier Campbell's bothered by the sunny weather, Pep Guardiola doesn't scare Terry Connor, Spurs like bars even more than Andy Carroll, and more.

Now it's time to explain (again), what this blog is all about. As I wrote the last few times: You won't find any detailed experts' analysis here. You won't find complete scoresheets either. But you'll find a good banter, juicy comments about the game, the clubs, the players, the refs, the goals... Maybe you'll find some useful info/opinion for a football chat in your favourite bar...

Namely, football is a global sport, so is the English Premierleague. It is followed by a huge number of a-round-ball-loving enthusiasts, journos, players and managers themselves... I hear football is also more and more popular in the US of soccer... :)

And for all those reasons it's widely commented on Twitter. It is a very well known "fact" that tweeps possess a lot of football knowledge, common sense, cynicism, humour, love/hate relationships... And, yes, even different kinds of stupidity occur...

So, all the ingredients for the tasty soup of football opinion are there.

This is the "36th edition". Here are some of the bits, which should shed some (different) light on the 36th round of EPL. I thank all the tweeps for contributing...

EVERTON - FULHAM 4-0 (3-0) @blueside1878 Dempsey should put a blue shirt on at half-time. Just to see how easily he'll fit in next year #efc @hijackp When the ball's in the air and all you see is hair, that's Fellaini! #efc @paddypower Fulham couldn't look more like they're on their holidays if they had sunburn, a hangover and a suspicious itch around the genitals #efc @andybell88 This is like watching Barcelona - but a good Barcelona! #efc #coyb @everton

STOKE CITY - ARSENAL 1-1 (1-1) @piersmorgan Re the 'that wasn't a free header for Crouch' debate - it's ALWAYS a free header if you're Crouch. Unless Kristof van Hout is in goal. @Bosscielny Crouch keeps trying to replicate the Leaning Tower of Pisa but he just keeps toppling over.

SUNDERLAND - BOLTON 2-2 (1-1) @FraizerCampbell I'm not injured tweeps. Just got cramp in both calfs! Not used to all this sun in Sunderland #hawaythelads @Arsenes_Eyes I would love to see @TheBig_Sam get the chance he deserves at Barcelona. A front three of Messi, Iniesta & Kevin Davies? Unstoppable.

SWANSEA - WOLVERHAMPTON 4-4 (4-2) @OptaJoe 22 - Andrea Orlandi's goal for Swansea came after just 22s, the quickest goal of the season. Flying. @paddypower BREAKING: #WWFC Terry Connor says he is "relaxed" after Guardiola is linked to Wolves....

WEST BROMWICH ALBION - ASTON VILLA 0-0 @MulumbusMate Ben Foster isn't good enough. I'm sorry but we should've never sold Carson http://twitpic.com/9et4jx @THOMASAGREEN Ben Foster has to come out of international retirement. Unreal goalkeeper, Albions player of the season by a mile.

WIGAN - NEWCASTLE UTD 4-0 (4-0) @alrickbrown BREAKING NEWS!! Guardiola set to become Wigan manager: "I heard about this guy named Moses who parted the Orange Sea and had to manage him." @dazzgedd73 If Wigan played like this week in & week out, they would be fighting a Champions League spot and not to avoid Championship place!!

NORWICH CITY - LIVERPOOL 0-3 (0-2) @teamdave Good Grief. Suarez has scored a goal. *jaw drop* - excellent. Hopefully some big clubs are watching and will bid for him in the summer. #lfc @sgrodahl Pun of the season: Definitely the day when the man from Montevideo, will want the video. #espn #lfc

CHELSEA - QUEENS PARK RANGERS 6-1 (4-0) @MrJamesMcMath Where was the making? Terry could have been up to anything at that back post. QPR defenders just lucky none of their wives were nearby #cfc @duncanjenkinsFC torres rounds the goalie and finishes with a plum. he is not a wolf in cheap clothing anymore, he is wearing "G star raw". #cfc #Q.P.R @darrenrusse11 Paddy Kenny's got that look about him, of a mole who's just come up to the surface and had bright light in his eyes. #QPR #CFC @Sapphire_LFC He'll knee you in the back, he'll stab you in the back, he plays in centre-back and he'll hate you if you're black. #CFC #Chelsea

TOTTENHAM - BLACKBURN 2-0 (1-0) @hotfunkybiscuit Unflattering camera angle on Paul Robinson looking a bit chunky from behind #brfc #thfc #babygotback @fingolfin82 Gareth bale you are not nor ever will be Cristiano Ronaldo so stay on the left! #thfc @da1seggy Has Sandro been watching Any Given Sunday? He's doing his Willie Beaman throw up on the pitch impression #thfc @corneliusGORTON Blackburns lack of possession is making the Brazilian sick #BRFC #THFC @MirrorFootball @Tweetistuta Bar-count now goes up to 3 today for us. I swear we hit the bar more times than Andy Carroll. #thfcž @DJohnsy_1988 Kyle walker...... Roberto carlos' brother!! #thfc

MANCHESTER CITY - MANCHESTER UTD 1-0 (1-0) @forevruntd SAF takes charge of 995th league game for United & Mancini with his 95th PL game as City manager. Gap. #mufc @jonny_power SAF going for a 'euro away' formation, which worked really well this season #MUFC @jklette43 Park Ji Sung is the human tuxedo. Fergie only uses that guy for special occasions. #MUFC @weirdo67 love Gary Neville on Sky 'Tevez was a low-hanging fruit for 5 months and no-one picked him up' #mufc #thisistheone @brizinorth "The wind is going to play havoc with that" says the commentator as Rooney skies it. Referring of course to Wayne's hair #mufc #mcfc @gram_robinson29 would rather eva mendez was breaking up with me than been 1-0 down here. 45 minutes left, still all to play for #MUFC @almole Giggs hasn't look this pissed off since the last time he opened Tweetdeck #mcfc.#mufc @reubenmunroe Youngs just arrived at the ground straight from manchester leisure centre. Had a couple of hours practising off the 10 m boards. #mcfc #mufc