FUNNY (?) TWITTER RECAP OF THE 18th ROUND OF ENGLISH PREMIERLEAGUE

Ah, thank God (or someone) for Boxing day football. It really made my day(s). But I think Chelsea fans feel slightly... well, to put it differently - it wasn't the best start of the week for them. They would rather postpone the match against Fulham. An embarrassing pile near the goal posts? Surely, this must be about Chelsea defenders conceding...

The happiest in the 18th round were the MUFC fans. Not only because the Red Devils put five into Wigan's net (three of them Dimitar the Bulgarian), but also because - like Chelsea - Arsenal, Liverpool and Manchester City dropped points. Patrice Evra was so happy he allegedly burned a cross in front of Suarez's house... Citizens and UTD are now equal regarding points.

Also very satisfied were the THFC fans. The Canaries were Baled. The Londoners also showed that they are attractive to watch. In fact so attractive, that Victoria Secret should fear for themselves! Adding to that, Norwich were probably mesmerized by Gareth Bale's speed. And nipples... Yes, nipples.

I the other 18th round matches Demba Ba acts in Bond-ish fashion, Steve Kean parades in his car-wannabe, a sniper shoots Leon Osman at the Stadium of Light, the Hawthorns' hosts Milan and Juventus, and fans appreciate a real cracker in Stoke... Bwahaha...

Now it's time to explain (again), what this blog is all about. As I wrote the last few times: You won't find any detailed experts' analysis here. You won't find complete scoresheets either. But you'll find a good banter, juicy comments about the game, the clubs, the players, the refs, the goals... Maybe you'll find some useful info/opinion for a football chat in your favourite bar...

Namely, football is a global sport, so is the English Premierleague. It is followed by a huge number of a-round-ball-loving enthusiasts, journos, players and managers themselves... I hear football is also more and more popular in the US of soccer... :)

And for all those reasons it's widely commented on Twitter. It is a very well known "fact" that tweeps possess a lot of football knowledge, common sense, cynicism, humour, love/hate relationships... And, yes, even different kinds of stupidity occur...

So, all the ingredients for the tasty soup of football opinion are there.

This is the "18th edition". Here are some of the bits, which should shed some (different) light on the 18th round of EPL. I thank all the tweeps for contributing...

CHELSEA - FULHAM 1-1 (0-0)
TalkingAnfield
He's a great young player that Sturridge. Chelsea to be given £150m to strengthen and yet their best striker cost a lowly £5m! #cfc #epl
Gooner_Kevin
18 - the number of league games in which john terry, the racist & womanizer, has been booed. consistency. #cfc
MrJacobK
I do wonder how much abramovich paid to have all those cardboard cutouts of fans put in the stadium. So quiet. #cfc #ffc
agathatara
I'm sorry, @chelseafc. But everytime you tweet with the hashtag #CFC, all I think about is fried chicken. Sekian.
rwilliams1947
Highglight of the match so far: half-time appearance by the immortal Jimmy Greaves. #cfc #ffc
_Dame_
When other teams score against CFC, our defenders are always left in an embarrassing pile near the goal posts :(
rupertus
Think I'd rather be in hospital with the Duke of Edinburgh than watch this Chelsea game. #CFC
247TrueBlue
Starting to think there's some kind of ball repellent between Fulham's goal! #CFC

BOLTON - NEWCASTLE UTD 0-2 (0-0)
dansportzblog
Ba so cool he could be the next James Bond #nufc #bwfcvnufc # foxfootball #bbcfootball #cool #toonarmy
champagnesocial
BA IS WALKING. But he looks unhappy. Not Owen Coyle wearing-shorts-in-late-December-unhappy. More "we're-letting-Perch-play?" unhappy #nufc
JonNarcross
Just when things are going well, the chilling sight of James Perch getting ready to come on fills you with fear. #nufc
josh1892
Ill have some of that, Demba scored 14 since ramadan #nufc
DanCratchley
Bolton fans can't complain about results, they asked for Owen Coyle after they hounded out Megson. Blackburn fans take note. #BWFC #BRFC

LIVERPOOL - BLACKBURN 1-1 (0-1)
SocanalysisUK
Funniest thing about LFC v BRFC match today was BRFC travelled to Anfield bottom of the league but have scored more than LFC this season.
PanchoTaffy
Does #YNWA stand for "You'll Never Win Again"? seems likely the way #LFC are playing
YudhaArimurti
£114.75m bunch of idiots #LFC
leewalk498
#brfc announce that Steve Kean will be doing an open-top parade around the town in his Prius tonight, showing off the point he won at #lfc
Bethany_LFC
Kenny must be saving his leftover Christmas stuffin' for Newcastle. Blackburn have had enough chicken related mirth. Good cluck #BRFC. #LFC

MANCHESTER UTD - WIGAN 5-0 (2-0)
ProudRed85
United currently have 11 injuries to Manchester City's 2. Yet, only goal difference separates the two team #MUFC
IbrahimChehab
#Arsenal fan on twitter:"Berbatov is Man utd's 4th choice striker, Chamakh is our 2nd choice striker. This fact makes me want to cry" #MUFC
henrywinter
If Carlsberg did Boxing Days...they would look something like today for #mufc. United score five while City, Chelsea & Liverpool drop points
steviebt67
Patrice Evra celebrates #MUFC 5-0 win by urinating on burning cross erected in Luis Suarezs front garden.

SUNDERLAND - EVERTON 1-1 (1-0)
LozzzAnderson
Howard Webb, a world class referee? Give your head a shake lad! If that was a penalty then i'm the Queen of England. #SAFC were robbed #EFC
OptaJoe
26 - Jack Colback scored the earliest Premier League goal by a substitute since Dwight Yorke (23 mins) v Newcastle in October 2004. Warmed.
FraizerCampbell
Thought the lads played very well 2day. If anyone sees the sniper that took out osman in our box tell him he cost us!
grandoldteam
(52) Howard Webb has just booked the Sunderland penalty area for that deliberate trip on Leon Osman.
karlknight31
warning if u out in sunland to nite,thiers a sniper loose.last seen at the stadium of light shooting everton player osman down

WEST BROMWICH ALBION - MANCHESTER CITY 0-0
StuBrennanMEN
At the highest league ground in the country on Boxing Day, and it's positively tropical #globalwarming #mcfc
GMOCTID
Its like Juventus v AC Milan today...#WBA v #MCFC #CTID....
pharmy1917
Balotelli plays dead as if he expects to receive a Milkbone. #mcfc
vorvice
#wbafc serving brandy in press room at half-time. probably to help with shock at holding #mcfc to 0-0 at half time.
Adventurebaby
Seeing West Brom hit the post on Twitter bought a ooh and a ahhh around the dinner table. #mcfc
FootballPUNdits
Oof. He certainly looks like a striker who hasn't scored in 7 games. A real Dzeko and Hyde sort of player. #MCFC

STOKE CITY - ASTON VILLA 0-0
Mashhouri
Sooooo excited to bring my aunti to SCFC- her first football match EVER!! thank god she can't understand English! #SatNextToSwearingFans
dalebutler
Darren Bent is only there because he thought 'The Britannia' was a shopping centre #avfc #scfc
CoachDaveLKFC
My kids on best behaviour tonight. Appears my threat of making them watch #scfc & #avfc's brand of anti football worked a treat! #hoooof
mikeyjarO
Ryan Shawcross elicits feelings of vomiting and sickness in small children, puppies, meerkats, kittens and squirrels. #SCFC #Stoke
9_Hendo
I know its Christmas time, and losing your jobs not good. But whoever picked #scfc vs #avfc to be televised needs his P45
jogmadjojo
Dear hubby ... shouting at TV doesn't mean they can hear you #SCFC
duguzzle
This is like two tuskless walruses have a scrap. #avfc #scfc

ARSENAL - WOLVERHAMPTON 1-1 (1-1)
aussieviking
Ready for the Arsenal to make pudding out of a wolf pack #ArsenalLive #AFC
Arsenes_Eyes
Little Theo "feeling too poorly" to play against Wolves. Did I ask Mr Frimpong not to read Little Red Riding Hood to him? Yes I did. #AFC
TheRantDFW
Calling all Oxen--All oxen please report to the Emirates...immediately. #AFC
TheFootyOnion
"I Will Rather Appoint Tony Pulis as the New Technical Director than Play Chamakh," Admits Wenger #afc #arsenal #bpl
Sirbobbyliveson
David Pleat is so annoying, Vermoolan? Bennanoon? Give me strength #fivelive #AFC #WWFC
paakwesi18
AFC are all over wolves like bees and nectar just a matter of time before the honey is made. @MirrorFootball
GeordieChris_F
Ah, and here comes the many of many haircuts but just one head, Marouane Chamakh. #Saviour #AFC

SWANSEA - QUEENS PARK RANGERS 1-1 (1-0)
pulkitgupta91
QPR defenders ask Traore WTF was that. Traore coolly says that's what you call Arsenal defending :P
LukeSheeks
Think we all knew Graham would score. That's Briatore & Ecclestone coming bk to haunt us. #QPR
sjr66qpr
I've had more fun at a wake #QPR
elhaydo
Did Graham almost sign for QPR? I didn't know that. No wait, wait, the 47 mentions during the match do ring a bell now.
stoohardy
Best nicknames in football? I have to go for "One Size", which is the nickname of QPR defender Fitz Hall....
MarkCoughlan
Traore is a liability when defending. When is the African Nations Cup? I'll drive him to the tournament. #QPR

NORWICH CITY - TOTTENHAM 0-2 (0-0)
DannyHarwood20
Luka Modric please join twitter so I can personally beg you 99 maybe 100 times a day to join united ? #Mufc #thfc #modric
Nick_Pettigrew
Grant Holt is the living embodiment of what would happen if Russell Howard ate all the pies. #ncfc #thfc
glenngarrett46
Spurs are turning into Arsenal. All very pretty but put the ball in the bloody net for crying out loud #thfc
toonbarmysalami
Gareth bale needs to put his nipples away, could hang coats off them #thfc
AlexRichards10
Somewhere, Gary Nevill is talking to himself about Gareth Bale opening his legs. #THFC
louise_s_page
And that possums, is why I'd have his babies tonight. BAAAALE #thfc
raaronovitch
We're so attractive that the Victoria Secret Angels should retire. #COYS #thfc
Grandy84
We've had our pants pulled down, and #thfc have pointed and laughed at us for 90 mins - #ncfc

FUNNY (?) TWITTER RECAP OF THE 17th ROUND OF ENGLISH PREMIERLEAGUE

Due to some technical problems the blog is a bit shorter... And not so funny? Anyway, the match of this round was surely at White Hart Lane. It was a really satisfying encounter despite... well, John Terry. He was somewhat scared of going too close to the man, who's as hung as an elephant? I wouldn't know, though.

Personally, I am really pleased that Haris Vuckic played the whole match for NUFC. And he was one of the better ones... Oh, what a shame for those two brilliant efforts! But he's proved his quality and I expect him back in the black&white shirt soon!

In the other 17th round matches there were quite a few milestones! Check them out below. And I promise the next blog will be business as usual! Take care and merry Christmas and a happy new year to all the readers and tweeps!

Now it's time to explain (again), what this blog is all about. As I wrote the last few times: You won't find any detailed experts' analysis here. You won't find complete scoresheets either. But you'll find a good banter, juicy comments about the game, the clubs, the players, the refs, the goals... Maybe you'll find some useful info/opinion for a football chat in your favourite bar...

Namely, football is a global sport, so is the English Premierleague. It is followed by a huge number of a-round-ball-loving enthusiasts, journos, players and managers themselves... I hear football is also more and more popular in the US of soccer... :)

And for all those reasons it's widely commented on Twitter. It is a very well known "fact" that tweeps possess a lot of football knowledge, common sense, cynicism, humour, love/hate relationships... And, yes, even different kinds of stupidity occur...

So, all the ingredients for the tasty soup of football opinion are there.

This is the "17th edition". Here are some of the bits, which should shed some (different) light on the 17th round of EPL. I thank all the tweeps for contributing...

WOLVERHAMPTON - NORWICH CITY 2-2 (1-1)
jakehumphreyf1
Dear MoTD...please don't promote how good @holty30 actually is. Us #NCFC already know, and if you tell other people, they might buy him. Ta
OptaJoe
8 - Wolves have won eight and lost none of the last 12 matches against Norwich at Molineux. Savaged.
InfostradaLive
Four of Ronald Zubar's six top flight goals in England and France have been scored in the last 10 minutes of matches.

BLACKBURN - BOLTON 1-2 (0-2)
TheArsenal
Shouldn't Blackburn fans be venting their anger at the chicken owners? It isn't Kean's fault that he's not a football manager.
choccy2972
It would be entertaining if the DJ at Blackburn plays "I predict a riot" at half time
mrcraiglyons
Blackburn are making Bolton look like a top 6 side and Ngogg look like Ronaldhino #elsackio

ASTON VILLA - ARSENAL 1-2 (0-1)
ArsenalColumn
Dear Mr. Wenger: There's a skinny guy sitting behind you who looks like The Scream. His name is Yossi Benayoun. For Moses' sake, PLAY HIM!
ID_ARSENAL
FT .. Arsenal wrap it up 1-2 .. Good job in Birmingham. Hutton red card. Nice christmas gift direct from Israel, Yossi Benayoun
1burnm
Yossi Benayoun is a wonderful footballer but he looks like he needs a good square meal.
TimothyAbraham
Albrighton gets to donate £20,000 to a charity of his choice for scoring the 20,000 goal. Does McLeish's transfer budget count as charity?
block6gooner
Nice stat from @F365 Alex McLeish has won 6 premier league games from his last 30 as a manager

MANCHESTER CITY - STOKE CITY 3-0 (2-0)
danwalkerbbc
#MCFC v #SCFC 1. City's GD is +38 already 2. Aguero has significant thighs 3. Stoke were pummelled 4. Thronker from Johnson
aguerosergiokun
I hear it's the first time in 82 years that @MCFC leads the scoreboard on Christmas. I'm honoured to be part of this achievement
BalotellisDog
Mancini popped in to discipline Mario by spanking him with a large trout. John Terry was watching through the window dressed as Hitler #MCFC

NEWCASTLE UTD - WEST BROMWICH ALBION 2-3 (1-2)
DominicKing_DM
Sure this hasn't been lost on #NUFC fans but Newcastle haven't won a game since mad decision to re-name stadium was announced on November 9
GeorgeCaulkin
By my (incorrect) reckoning Ba has scored 56% of NUFC gls this season. Jan, when he leaves for Afr N Cup, a huge month for many reasons.
JBChaleboyHPP
Newcastle sold Andy Carroll for £35 million, and then went and got Demba Ba in on a free. Mike Ashley needs some sort of award for this.
Nadeem9T1
Goal machine Demba Ba and now Vuckic coming through for Newcastle. Makes the 35m for Carroll even more hilarious if that's possible
nufcfans
AP on Vuckic: "He was terrific. He had two terrific efforts and I think he showed everybody that he’s going to be a player for us for sure”
Stevo_football
Haris Vuckic's left foot is a staggeringly brilliant addition to the PL. Two 30-yard screamers, one hit bar + one tipped over. He's only 19.

EVERTON - SWANSEA 1-0 (0-0)
F365
Wait just a second there....Everton have scored. A goal. Everton have scored a goal.

FULHAM - MANCHESTER UTD 0-5 (0-3)
InfostradaLive
Wayne Rooney makes his 300th #EPL appearance at the age of 26 years and 58 days - the youngest to reach this milestone in the #PL #MUFC
josephganley
Wayne Rooney's goal tonight makes him the first #mufc player since the war to score 15 or more goals in eight consecutive seasons.
Special1TV
Dear Santa (6): Sorry Santa...those cabinets - smaller one for #MUFC ... #AFC still okay with last years as it's good as new #ExpectJose
LauraKane89
50th player to score 50 goals for Manchester United = Dimitar Berbatov. #mufc
caughtoffside
Bang, that is the sound of a COS employee remembering they have a Fulham defender in their Fantasy Football team #FFC v #MUFC

QUEENS PARK RANGERS - SUNDERLAND 2-3(0-1)
SCFCRoss
What a tremendous stat. Sunderland have as many players on bail as they do wins this season #SAFC
YoungGunsBlog
Nicklas Bendtner heads Sunderland in front against #QPR, after Martin O'Neill asked him to 'score goals and behave himself'. Good start.
OptaJoe
34% - QPR have posted the worst shooting accuracy in the 2011-12 Premier League. Costly.

WIGAN - LIVERPOOL 0-0
MrJimmyCorkhill
Now if Suarez was a racist, he would have taken that penno and volleyed it straight at the keeper's head #LFC
talkSPORTDrive
Alan Hansen apologises for using an inappropriate term on MotD. I suppose LFC players will have Hansen tshirts for the Boxing Day warm up...

TOTTENHAM - CHELSEA 1-1 (1-1)
jonbirchall
Bale is so brilliantly basic. His game, much like his body and face, is just a succession of right-angles clunked together #thfc
shaunmalley
Adebayor! Adebayor! He's hung like an elephant, and he knows how to score! #coys #thfc
marksyx
adebayor adebayor - city pay half his wages 'cause we are too poor! COYS #thfc
lukeymoore
We all know why John Terry didn't want to get too close to Adebayor for that Spurs goal, don't we?
brentwafc
Thinking #thfc would Defo have fastest 4x100 relay team in the prem bale lennon walker Defoe
WillieGannon
Feels a bit like 1991. Smashing Pumpkins-Stone Roses-Rage Against the Machine & Radiohead are all doing gigs soon and #THFC are good again!
inspectorsaab
When my granny asks what city the football match is goin on in.. shes hinting at wanting to change the channel #thfc #cfc #skysports
SickipediaUK
John terry quoted saying "I can't be racist, some of my best friends wives are black"